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September 12, 2012
The Word from Leon
Minions, minions, minions. How soon do we forget one of the commandments? No, not "Never get high on your own supply." The one that says You shall have no other gods before me! And what is this that I see? Many of you worshiping a new god: Robert Griffin III. Who some of you call RG3. Which is moronic. He has a perfectly good name for a god; Griffin. Instead you insist on referring to him by a name that is reminiscent of a chess maneuver or a spot on the board in a game of Battleship. Though I shouldn't be surprised at the name from a group of people who root for a team with a name that even the ancients would have considered less than culturally sensitive. But, I digress, what could be more regal than a lion with wings? Alright, a lion with wings, lasers and a sweet sound system. But you'd agree that a lion with wings is pretty cool. Toss on a helmet and pads, and you've really got something. But even so, should he be worshiped before me? I hardly think so. Yes, he beat the Saints, but are saints really noted for their toughness? Hardly. They're more noted for their martyrdom. And yes he hurdles . . . hurdles in single bounds. But they're not very high, are they? Though I am coming off as too much of a wet blanket. I am hardly the type to argue for moderation amidst the throes of ecstasy. Enjoy Cloud 9 while you're on it. Or in this case, Cloud #10. And don't worry, your old buddy Leon will be there to catch you if you fly too close to the sun.