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  • September 24, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif With Week 1 in the books, let's see how you did bar wise...

    1) 50 Shades of James (NR) - So many Lauers...they were everywhere...

    2) Book Hobo, Verse Etienne: Thou Shalt Blue Moon (NR) - It's a Flip Cup Sweep!

    3) Chilled Juice (NR) - Happy Birthday Chiller!!!

    4) The BlueBallbarians (NR) - Look at all those Bobbies, what site!

    5) Draggin BallZ (NR) - Beer pong, they're good at that.

    6) Pickle Me Elmo (NR) - Matt has so many t-shirts, what's the deal with that?

    7) Boot N Rally (NR) - NORRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM SECTION!!!!!!!

    8) Repeat Booty (NR) - Chip's got it going on.

    9) Grass Kickers 10: Green is the New Black (NR) - Look at the ladies carrying the load!

    10) Kicknado 2: The Second Squad (NR) - A good turnout but they left so damn early.

    11) Say Ahh...here comes the Kick (NR) - It's Wedding Season!

  • July 11, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings -

    Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifBarking Dog Power Rankings, post bye week!

    1) Chill the Juice (3) - They won everything and Morgan and Chiller made a mess.

    2) Hump Day Squad (2) - Don't look at Bizz without permission! 

    3) Pulp Friction (6) - Shots for errrrrrrrrrrrrybody

    4) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (1) - Dropping spots but not far.

    5) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (5) - Manny and the New Girl, it's gonna be a great Alt Rock Album someday.

    6) It's all about the Booty (8) - Changing clothes is the new orange is the new black.

    7) James Lauer. Period. (4) - Sometimes a man stands alone.

    11) Kick Tease (7) - Where

    11) Yo Hobo and a Bottle of Rum (9) - Were

    11) TH Sea Turtles (10) - You

    11) Kickballers (11) - Guys?

  • June 26, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifBarking Dog Power Rankings, by Potato Salad!

    1) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (2) – Two team flip cup wins in a row!!  

    2) Hump Day Squad (1) – Where is my rail red?!

    3) Chill the Juice (5) – Morgan shared all the jalapenos

    4) James Lauer. Period. (4) – Andrea came all the way back from NYC just for KB!

    5) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (7) – The Jessica’s were getting feisty during Survivor  

    6) Pulp Friction (6) – Welcome back, Little Annie

    7) Kick Tease (8) – A lot of Hope Solo butthole but not much else, “Sweetie” 

    8) It's all about the Booty (10) - Chip's still trying to do some booty 'cruitin'!

    9) Yo Hobo and a Bottle of Rum (9) – Poor little Sean playing all alone 

    10) TH Sea Turtles (3) - I saw not a one

    11) Kickballers (11) – No surprise here 

  • June 18, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif Another week, another set of Power Rankings!

    1) Hump Day Squad (2) - Congrats to Cunningham for finally breaking through on the Board.

    2) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (9) - Theresa et al. getting it done.

    3) TH Sea Turtles (10) - Late but still out in force.

    4) James Lauer. Period. (3) - Not winning either flip cup title is a disapointment.

    5) Chill the Juice (6) - We demand the Return of the Seamus.

    6) Pulp Friction (4) - Don't kick to Calbers.

    7) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (1) - Another nice showing.

    8) Kick Tease (7) - Matt, you're the man now...dog.

    9) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (5) - Who schedules a football draft in June on a Wednesday?

    10) It's all about the Booty (8) - Chip's doing some 'cruitin'!

    11) Kickballers (11) - Maddeningly consistent.

  • June 12, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail imageNew leaders, it's becoming a thing I see...

    1) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (9) - Another great showing, good movement there.

    2) Hump Day Squad (3) - We need more Happy Cola!

    3) James Lauer. Period. (5) - The ladies of this team love the board...

    4) Pulp Friction (7) - Marty is better than you at Beer Pong.

    5) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (2) - Emily, doing what she does.

    6) Chill the Juice (6) - Cordel loves that crab dip...

    7) Kick Tease (8) - Tim, back in the top 5!

    8) It's all about the Booty (10) - Not too shabby, sometimes they change clothes.

    9) I Just Blew Myself Doing Work (4) - And where the hell is Ankit?!

    10) TH Sea Turtles (1) - It was fun at the top...

    11) Kickballers (11) - Bobby, do something!

    10) It's a

  • June 5, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.pngAnother set of new leaders? What the what?

    1) TH Sea Turtles (11) - From worst to first, how 'bout that?!

    2) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (8) - ROBINO, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY...

    3) Hump Day Squad (7) - Cunningham + Gummis = F.U.N.

    4) I Blue Myself Doing Work (1) - Ankit...FOCUS!

    5) James Lauer. Period. (3) - All James Lauer Survivor Finale!

    6) Chill the Juice (4) - CHILLER!!!

    7) Pulp Friction (2) - Dan...Ready...Go....

    8) Kick Tease (6) - I see you Tim...

    9) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (5) - Manny and Adrienne, holding it down!

    10) It's all about the Booty (11) - Chip came back!

    11) Kickballers (11) - Bobby...do what Jack says...

     

  • May 28, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png Another week, another leader...where's this all going?!

    1) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (6) - Circus cup returns!

    2) Pulp Friction (2) - HEY, ALBERS!!!!

    3) James Lauer. Period. (5) Cup flipping, yeah they own that.

    4) Chill the Juice (4) - Dave may not count for Survivor, but he counts for our hearts.

    5) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (11) - A big, BIG jump, good on you guys!

    6) Kick Tease (1) - Coolers!

    7) Hump Day Squad (7) Steady as they go

    8) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (2) - Damn you dentist!

    11) All About the Booty (8) No Chip, no show.

    11) The Kickballers (9) - Just enjoying the weather I suppose.

    11) TH Sea Turtles (10) - Boo.

  • May 23, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.pngWeek 3 Ranksings...leading to a trophy!

    1) Kick Tease (6) - Graduation shots! 

    2) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (10) - Rickie, he loves it.

    3) Pulp Friction (2) - Jeremy's got crazy beard.

    4) Chill the Juice (7) - Board of Chiller!

    5) James Lauer. Period. (4) - The Cup, it Flips.

    6) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (1) - Those sunglasses are something else.

    7) Hump Day Squad (3) - Bizz for Shizz

    8) All About the Booty (5) - Those shirts!

    9) The Kickballers (10) - Shaun Miles, doing the heavy lifting.

    10) TH Sea Turtles (8) - No cups were hurt this week, that's a problem.

    11) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (11) - Consistent...boo

  • May 18, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png Rankings for Week 2!

    1) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (8) - So much Up down and a Team Championship to boot.

    2) Pulp Friction (2) - Can they do it without the Caps and Wiz this week? They better!

    3) Hump Day Squad (4) - So much America.

    4) James Lauer. Period. (1) - Only 50% Andrea this week.

    5) All About the Booty (6) - Ginger, do something!

    6) Kick Tease (9) - An all Kick Tease finale on the Board, marvelous.

    7) Chill the Juice (3) - Kordell!

    8) TH Sea Turtles (5) - Alex will cut your hair!

    9) The Kickballers (10) - Not a bad showing, not enough for flip cup however...

    10) Yo Hobo and a Bottle of Rum (7) - The Wizards pull is too strong, unlike Nene.

    11) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (11) - BOO

  • May 7, 2015 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.pngWeek 1 is in the books, how'd you do?

    1) James Lauer. Period. (3) - Took flip cup and took the bar, classic James.

    2) Pulp Friction (8) - The Stopher-BOOOOOOOOOOOM mereger is a success!

    3) Chill the Juice (1) - Chiller's gonna get ya.

    4) Hump Day Squad (6) - So much America...

    5) TH Sea Turtles (9) - Tony won Survivor , I know...I'm confused by this as well!

    6) All About the Booty (5) - A good first start, a bit fancy, but still good start.

    7) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (4) - Just doing what they do.

    8) I Just Blue Myself Doing Work (7) - Potato Salad y'all.

    9) Kick Tease (2) - Need more flavor

    10) The Kickballers (11) - A good showing for the newbs.

    11) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (10) - Click it!

  • April 30, 2015 The Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.pngIt's a Scrimmage Week Power Rankings!

    1) Chill the Juice (NR) - Seamus and Chiller together? We're screwed.

    2) Kick Tease (NR) - Former Pickles are bar people.

    3) James Lauer. Period. (NR) - Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarvardddddddddddddd

    4) Yo HoBo and a Bottle of Rum (NR) - Garrrrr Bear is the captain now.

    5) All About the Booty (NR) - Sometimes you have to play a trick every now and again.

    6) Hump Day Squad (NR) - SQUAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!

    7) I Just Blue Myself (NR) - Still doing work...baby.

    8) Pulp Friction (NR) - The dudes were duding it up. DUDES!

    9) TH Sea Turtles (NR) - Such a short little hello

    10) Grass Kickers 9: Cleats and Cleavage (NR) - I saw neither cleats no cleave

    11) The Kickballers (NR) - Darth?

     

  • September 8, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png Week 1 Power Rankings, it's science!

    1) Kicknado (NR) - They shut the bar down.

    2) OMFGolden (NR) - A survivor win and top 3 in team flip cup.

    3) Grown Ass Mutant Ninja Hobos (NR) - Loving that corner by the tv and up down.

    4) Spanking Booty (NR) - Kilts get points.

    5) Banana Smugglers (NR) - A Team Flip Cup VICTORY!!!

    6) The Hunger James: Catching Lauer (NR) - Best name in the league.

    7) Liver my Pickles (NR) - Those shirts are fantastic.

    8) House Keeping (NR) - THere was no Ankit...so sad.

    9) Perpetual Juicegasms (NR) - Ketchup and Mustard please.

    10) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.!!!!!!!!!!!! (NR) - Sharon, you know!

    11) Bobby's Kickball Palace (NR) - Good start for the new guys!

    12) It's Not Going to Kick Itself (NR) - Even the siren song of free beer could not lure them to the bar, so parties and games it is!

  • July 18, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png Post Bye Week Power Rankings!!!!

    The Power Rankings, now wiht more power.

    1) WDGA (12) - Look at that big jump, from bottom to top, all it took was an Alex victory!

    2) Kicking Booty (7) - They won Survivor again!

    3) Perpetual Scoregasms (6) Chiller your master baker!

    4) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (1)Jen's moving to MD, what?!

    5) Hump Day Camels (2) - Cunningham got second in the baker thing, he's not pleased!

    6) Keep Calm and Do Work! (8) Well done Frankel, well done!

    7) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (5) Hobos hide in corners now, lurking bindle sticks at the ready.

    8) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (4) - Hey how about that cake?

    9) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (3) - Redemption they name is J-E-R-E-M-Y.

    10) Grass Kickers (12) - Thank to Jessica for judging, well done with those taste buds.

    11) Juice (12) - Jason also judged!  Happy birthday Becky Murphy!

    12) 4th Base Syndrome (9) Price is Right

  • July 2, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png Better late than never...

    The Power Rankings, now wiht more power.

    1) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (6)- Potato Salad set up and ran the fields, you get number 1!

    2) Hump Day Camels (2) - Cunningham made tattoos that in some cases stayed on for days, well done!

    3) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (4) - Thomas W was there and I guilted Albers into coming to the bar, go me!

    4) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (3) - Let's applaud Jeff for recycling shall we?!

    5) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (5) - Hobos hide in corners now, lurking bindle sticks at the ready.

    6) Perpetual Scoregasms (1) - Just know that Mark is great at quarters.

    7) Kicking Booty (11) Chip was cheering for college baseball, take that soccer.

    8) Keep Calm and Do Work! (10) - Justin's eye lids did work, he is now blind, but it was worth it.

    12) 4th Base Syndrome (9) - Price is Right

    12) Grass Kickers (8) - Darth Vader

    12) Juice (7)  - Sad trombone

    12) WDGA (12) - Ain't Nobody got time for that

  • June 23, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png The Power Rankings, now wiht more power.

    1) Perpetual Scoregasms (7) - Has anyone seen my cleats?

    2) Hump Day Camels (4) - Cunningham with history

    3) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (2) -We've got PAT!

    4) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (10) - Stopher!!! YAY Stopher!

    5) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (1) - Sean can juggle.

    6) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (5)- Still no Tim, we demand more Tim

    7) Juice (6) - Birthday Jason!

    8) Grass Kickers (8) - 4 Grass Kickers came!

    9) 4th Base Syndrome (11) - They came and kind of disappeared all at once. 

    10) Keep Calm and Do Work! (3) - Justin did not get weird.

    11) Kicking Booty (9) Chip and his bad finger were present.

    12) WDGA (12) - Darth, if you please..."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

  • June 13, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png World Cup Eve Power Rankings, hoooooooray!

    1) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (1) - Shut down the bar and then kept the evening going downstairs with some blue shots.

    2) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (9) -Tim held it down, all night!

    3) Keep Calm and Do Work! (8) - GRUBAY!!!!!!!!!!

    4) Hump Day Camels (3) - Todd was super...

    5) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (2)- Sharon and Potato Salad held it down while lil Annie is in Rio (not the one in Gaithersburg.)

    6) Juice (10) - Seamus made a return to the flip cup table and that made me happy.

    7) Perpetual Scoregasms (6) - Chiller was fancy and Boon was Boon.

    8) Grass Kickers (11) - The Winger, she can judge.

    9) Kicking Booty (5) - That was not the follow up to team flip cup I expected.

    10) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (4) - Thomas is back, just sans phone, so don't try and call him, he can't answer.

    11) 4th Base Syndrome (7) Another great showing.

    12) WDGA (12) - It appears that they're comfortable down here with the  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • June 6, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD logo.png Movement, we've got movement in the rankings!!!

    1) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (5) - COOKIE CAKE for Robino, Rashard and the Garrrrr Bear.

    2) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (8)- Annie's going to Brasil!  

    3) Hump Day Camels (9) - Dickson, happy now bud?

    4) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (3) - Holloman is the best at everything, know this.

    5) Kicking Booty (10) - They won team Flip Cup, I just don't have words for this.

    6) Perpetual Scoregasms (1) - Weiner is very demanding of things. DEMANDING!

    7) 4th Base Syndrome (11) - KT took many photos, I appreciate that!

    8) Keep Calm and Do Work! (7) - Beer, just like mom used to make...I heard this a lot.

    9) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (4) - Kat has to go to the bathroom and Matty BooBoo is tired.

    10) Juice (5) - Jason was there, HOORAY Jason.

    11) Grass Kickers (6) - There was a Grass Kicker present, I know this, he's an accomplished photobomber!

    12) WDGA (11) - Well someone has to get the NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • June 3, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    BD logo.png Sometimes later is better than never.  To the arbitrary silliness!

    1) Perpetual Scoregasms (6) - Everyone but Chiller is counted here and he knows why.

    2) Juice (5) - Judy has a very nice smile.

    3) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (1) - Marty buys me mouth and throat terror.

    4) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (2) - Kat wears all the shirts, all of them!

    5) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (4) - It tastes like gasoline fire.

    6) Grass Kickers (11) - So much Grass kicking...

    7) Keep Calm and Do Work! (9) - Beer, just like mom used to make...I heard this a lot.

    8) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (3) - Potato Salad and her best friend, that hand of hers, just going places...

    9) Hump Day Camels (8) - Hey Mike, it's power rankings.

    10) Kicking Booty (10) - Small booty contingent, we demand more booty.

    11) WDGA (11) & 4th Base Syndrome (7)  - Not quite last this week, congrats!

    12) Chiller - Because he was all snarky about the power rankings, and this seemed like a good idea last wednesday night!

  • May 22, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for BD logo.png It's Week 5, let's see how you all did!

    1) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (2) - Stopher is back on top, the way he likes it!

    2) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (1) - Lauer Power, James likes Hugs.

    3) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (7) - SHARON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    4) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (4) - It's a trifectat at the top of Survivor for the Hobos!

    5) Juice (11) - Strong comeback for the Seamus!  And congrats to Jason.

    6) Perpetual Scoregasms (5) - Chiller Chest hair.

    7) 4th Base Syndrome (11) - Good good showing. 

    8) Hump Day Camels (9)  JACKIE ROBINSON!!!!!!!!! 

    9) Keep Calm and Do Work! (6) - Justin was here.

    10) Kicking Booty (3) - It was Booty strong!

    11)  WDGA (11) &  Grass Kickers (8)  BOO.

     

  • May 16, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    BD logo.png Week 4 Power Rankings, the Tree Branch Edition!

    1) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (8) - Kat got second place and Matt wants to touch your beer.

    2) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (2) - Who does #2 work for?  Why Stopher and his scary beard of course!

    3) Kicking Booty (11) - This is a big jump, but that's what happens when Chip rolls deep, also Charlie played fancy flip cup so credit where credit is due!

    4) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (5) - Fancy flip cup for Jayne too, just no tie so the level of difficulty wasn't as high.

    5) Perpetual Scoregasms (3) - Come on over and touch the Weiner.

    6) Keep Calm and Do Work! (4) - Nobody puts Ankit in a corner....NO ONE!

    7) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (6) - Annie's got snark.

    8) Grass Kickers (10) -  Jessica has taken over for Alex in the cup dismemberment post survivor.

    9) Hump Day Camels (1)  So excited to win, win anything.

    11)  WDGA (11) &  Juice (9) & 4th Base Syndrome (7)BOO.

  • May 8, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif Week 3 Power Rankings, now with matching shirts!

    1) Hump Day Camels (8)  Bizz asked and he received, now everyone, do the Bizz!

    2) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (4) - Orlando won survivor, and Thomas was there!

    3) Perpetual Scoregasms (5) - Boon was in the proverbial house and in a good mood!

    4) Keep Calm and Do Work! (8) - Flip Cup Winners and so much lilac!

    5) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (1) - Look at all that tie dye, it's like Bill Walton's closet vomitted everywhere.

    6) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (2) - Tim's back and Norman is still DJing, all is right with the world.

    7) 4th Base Syndrome (8) - Good showing by the Tony team, just don't write on their table.

    8) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (3) - Far less tongue this week to be sure.

    9) Juice (8) - I see you Juice, hanging in that corner. 

    10) Grass Kickers (7) -  The Wingeroffs were helping out and the dudes watching basketball.

    11)  WDGA (8) & Kicking Booty (6) BOO.

  • May 2, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif Week 2 was rainy, but the Barking Dog Power Rankings take no breaks!

    1) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (5) - Jayne won survivor and Rickie stole some crab legs.

    2) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (2) - ERNIE!!!!! Also, happy birthday NORMAN. SHARON!!!!!

    3) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (2) - Kat makes things classy, with that tongue.

    4) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (NR) - Albers does not laugh for you.

    5) Perpetual Scoregasms (7) - Chiller got a little weird, weirder than normal.

    6) Kicking Booty (3) - Chip is cooking up shots, spoiler alert, they are pink.

    7) Grass Kickers (8) -  You can count on Adrienne to represent.  Also, the Jessicas came out, and they're changing their last name to Wino or Finger, there will be a poll out later.

    8) Hump Day Camels (8)  You all better thank Ed for showing up Camels!

    8) JuiceWDGA, , Keep Calm and Do Work! and 4th Base Syndrome - BOO.

  • April 24, 2014 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif The first power rankings are revealed, they don't say much...

    1) BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!! (NR) - They came, they saw, they ruled.

    2) James Lauer and the Giant Pickle (NR) - So many dodgeball shirts!

    3) Kicking Booty (NR) - You can count on them to show up and then leave, but Chip made top 10 in Survivor!

    4) Stopher's Beard is Dark and Full of Terrors (NR) - Don't you dare talk WW2 with Stopher

    5) Hobo 14: The Legend of Robino (NR) - Jayne did not get hurt!

    6) Keep Calm and Do Work! (NR) - Ankit...DEUCES!

    7) Perpetual Scoregasms (NR) - It's all Chiller, all the time.

    8) Juice, WDGA, Hump Day Camels, Grass Kickers and 4th Base Syndrome - BOO.

  • April 18, 2014 Fotoshop Friday, now with many Sports!

    HHSCardsWinterWeek7.jpg

  • February 21, 2014 Fotoshop Friday is Finishing these Championship Cards

    That's it we're done (for a week), enjoy these last four survivors of the flip cup land!

    HHSCardsWinterWeek5.jpg

  • February 7, 2014 Fotoshop Friday, now with Quarters!

    The celebration of beer gaming greatness continues with our You Got Served Victors!

    HHSCardsWinterWeek6.jpg

  • January 31, 2014 Fotoshop Friday is Here

    We are so close to being done with our champions series, enjoy these Survivors and praise them or rail on them.

    HHSCardsWinterWeek4.jpg

  • January 24, 2014 Fotoshop Frideeeeeeeeeeeee

    Now with more Survivor!

    HHSCardsWinterWeek3.jpg

  • January 17, 2014 Fotoshop Friday is Here!

    We're almost done with championship cards, so enjoy these past team flip cup winners!

    HHSCardsWinterWeek2.jpg

  • January 10, 2014 Fotoshop Friday is Back!

    New year, new Fotoshop Friday to drop on you.  Soon we will have cornhole cards, until then, the championship cards continue.

    HHSCardsWinterWeek1.jpg

  • November 4, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif I like order and data, no I don't, or do I?

    1) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (2) - Another quality day by Stopher.

    2) May the Juice! Be with You (1) - Seamus threw stuff.

    3) Hobo Twerk Team (3) - You can count on Hobos.

    4) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (7) - Lindsey W is back!

    5) Kicker Bees (9) - The Muellers are back and that only means good things.

    6) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (8) - Picking up Marty was a good choice for this group.

    7) The Pickle Factory (6) - Just Matt and Kat.

    8)  Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (4) - Shaun, thank you for djing!

    14) Bad News Beers (5) - No Ankit, no nothing, no point.

    14) Mustache Riders (14) - Blah, blah blah.

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (14) - No Milk For You

    14) Team Lightning (14) - Eli Manning face.

    14) OMFGold (14) - If Jay Cutler's not playing they're not showing.

    14) #Booty (14) - Still in hospice.

  • October 28, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif Rankings are for closers, like coffee, you all get coffee, sort of.

    1) May the Juice! Be with You (5) - Josh wore all the sweaters.

    2) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (6) - Lots of shots were taken, also Albers carved a fabulous pumpkin.

    3) Hobo Twerk Team (3) - Lazy pong

    4) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (11) - So many grass kickers, so many!

    5) Bad News Beers (2) - Good showing in all things flip cup.

    6) The Pickle Factory (9) - I wonder if Kat ever went to the bathroom...

    7) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (8) - Ugly sweaters for everyone, except the team that proposed the theme.

    8)  Happy Lauer Kickball Team (14) - Marty is no longer on that boat.

    9) Kicker Bees (1) Welcome to the party Chips!

    14) Mustache Riders (10) - Nobody was at the bar, no one.

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (4) - I saw no orange, and nothing rhymes with orange.

    14) Team Lightning (12) - Lightning did not crash, like in that song from the 90s.

    14) OMFGold (14) - It's scarf season, so you know they'd prefer to stay outdoors.

    14) #Booty (7) - Everyone on this team was getting some work done on something broken.

  • October 21, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif We're back and more aribitrary than ever, except when we're not.

    1) Kicker Bees (2) - It's Charlie's great pumpkin!

    2) Bad News Beers (12) - Von Hayes and Grubaaaaaaaaaaaaay are back!

    3) Hobo Twerk Team (3) - We will, we will, we will twerk you.

    4) Jesus Christ Superstar (6) - Flanders, Flanders, Flanders.

    5) May the Juice! Be with You (4) - Chris H dressed like Josh W, oh the funny.

    6) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (1) - David and Albers doing what David and Albers do.

    7)#Booty (11) - Strong showing by the hashtags.

    8) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (5) - ERNIE!

    9) The Pickle Factory (7) - It took a while but our king got his groove back eventually.

    10) Mustache Riders (14) - Good showing.

    11) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (8) - Shaun Miles, I say thank you!

    12) Team Lightning (10) - Sneakily hanging out downstairs all day.

    14) OMFGold (14) - I assume they had some inner team battle during the skins bears game and someone may have gotten body slammed.

    14) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (9) - Apparently when someone gets on a boat the whole team goes to the harbor to send them off by waving like it's the 1920s.

  • October 8, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif Power Rankings are here, So enjoy them or don't.

    1) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (5) - Buckets of beer.

    2) Kicker Bees (3) - Muellers have briaded hair.

    3) Hobo Twerk Team (4) - We all wear different shirts.

    4) May the Juice! Be with You (9) - Chiller dressed the part.

    5) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (8) - I won't put in what should be here, but you know.

    6) Jesus Christ Superstar (14) - Bucket heads for everoyne!

    7) The Pickle Factory (6) - All hail the king and queen!  Also, shirtless guy.

    8) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (1) - Two Jessicas is better than one.

    9) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (10) - Lauers came back!

    10) Team Lightning (14) - They like the Survivor.

    11) #Booty (7) - There's always Brian.

    12) Bad News Beers (2) - Stop breaking Justin's phone.

    14) OMFGold (14) - They all got lost I guess.

    14) Mustache Riders (14) - Mourning the end of the Freeman era.

  • September 30, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif Power Rankings are here, government shut down or no!

    1) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (14) - Big jump from 14th, top of the charts!

    2) Bad News Beers (10) - Justin is a leprechaun, taste his rainbow.

    3) Kicker Bees (1) - Slow pork in the house.

    4) Hobo Twerk Team (2) - Emily loves to twerk.

    5) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (5) - Albers is back!!!

    6) The Pickle Factory (4) - Kat has red hair!

    7) #Booty (7) - Let's all share Mozzeralla sticks as buddies!

    8) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (9) - Lindsay is slightly fatigued.

    9) May the Juice! Be with You (6) - They were there, in the corner, with baby.

    10) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (3) - Rob wants your attention now!

    14) Team Lightning (8) - London

    14) Mustache Riders (14) - Hosted

    14) OMFGold (14) - The 

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (14) - NFL

  • September 23, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif Rankings, because people like to know where they stand while sitting.

    1) Kicker Bees (1) - Beeeeees!!!!

    2) Hobo Twerk Team (3) - Just living in a corner

    3) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (10) - Let's all get our snarf on.

    4) The Pickle Factory (8) - Cider for the pickles!

    5) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (7) - Stopher got to the Board, too bad it was not the butt cup.

    6) May the Juice! Be with You (4) - Seamus, I appreciate his 2007 gear.

    7) #Booty (8) - Chip and the Swimmer moving up the charts.  He's got tupperware!

    8) Team Lightning (9) - Don't talk to them about byes!!!

    9) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (6) - I think the forfeit hurt.

    10) Bad News Beers (2) - Forfeiting does this to you.

    14) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (14) - Zero people, is still zero.

    14) Mustache Riders (12) - Not a soul.

    14) OMFGold (13) - Not so much.

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (11) - Well it's not 15th, so that's good.

  • September 16, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gifIt's Monday Morning, so it's arbitrary ranking time!

    1) Kicker Bees (3) - It's a Mueller world people, we're all just hanging in in it.

    2) Bad News Beers (7) - Another great showing, even without Doing Work.

    3) Hobo Twerk Team (2) - Apparently Hobos enjoy cornhole!

    4) May the Juice! Be with You (6) - Chiller is on this team, they're ranking reflects that.

    5) The Pickle Factory (8) - Matt just wants to dance.

    6) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (5) - NORMAN!!!!!

    7) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (1) - Did you know that David can limbo?

    8) #Booty (10) - Another good showing, just leaving early is all.

    9) Team Lightning (9) - Strong flip cup is strong flip cup.

    10) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (4) - Rob with the jersey of the week!

    11) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (14) - Two Jessicas is better than one!

    14) Mustache Riders (12) - A big fat Zero showed.

    14) OMFGold (13) - Where Da Gold At?  Get it?!

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (11) - Milk was a bad choice.

  • September 11, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.gifGood day Minions!

    I must tell you how appreciative I was to see you rejoice in the way only a Leon devotee can this past Sunday.  Sure it may have been the beer being free, or the return of your NFL, where you gamble and wish for good things from large pharameutically enhanced men chase each other and an oblong ball made of porcine skin, but no, Leon prefers to think it was He.

    You see many of you partook in the bonging of beers, sweet, sweet light or lite beer.  You dropped it in your funnel, fingered the head away (as Leon always does) and then shot that beer down your throat with the speed of an oncoming freight train of deliciousness.  You did this without pause, stepping up as each team was called and you found your inner Leon.

    But where did bonging begin?  Well luckily, Leon is a historian, as well as a ladies man, bon vivant and raconteur of bullshit.  Bonging began on high at Mt. Beer Ohlympus where my brother Deon and I would routinely see who could imbibe the nectar of the Gods quickest.  The races were close, and Deon typically tried to throw a crotch punch or two my way, but Leon was always fastest.  You see, I can expand my throat and take it down better than most, Leon is nothing if not capable.  

    We both agreed that drinking was fine, and drinking alot was better, but drinking fast that was the key, for to do what we Gods must do following a famine or disease, well one needs the stamina that only beer can provide.  So we created the funnel and poured and poured and poured, and then we plowed into your ancestors, because lets face it, after disease, floods and famines have ravaged a land, everyone looks pretty ripe, even from up here.

    So there is your history lesson, I look forward to seeing what other conveyance you use to force beer down your throats in the coming weeks, because if nothing else, watching that beats watching the Cleveland Browns.

  • September 10, 2013 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Editors.jpg

    Well ladies and gents.  Week 1 is in the books.  Though I am not sure what books.  I am pretty sure the people in charge of this rag-tag operation can't read, let alone write.  It's all fucking chicken scratch.  One monkey sitting at one typewriter could pound out a better Morning After in 5 minutes than the drivel we are fed every week.  Anyway, so, after Week 1, what have we learned?

    There are lots of new faces in the league.  But there are more of the same, old, tired, same, same, same faces.  And all of you veterans know each other, and have your old familiar routines.  You talk to the people you know about a bunch of shit that no one cares about, like your fantasy team.  Then you play drinking games and behave like hooligans.  Take a moment to talk to a new person.  Go out of your way to involve a new person.  Especially if you think they're hot.  They don't know what a depraved, desperate human being you are yet.  Make the new people in the league feel welcome.  You were a new person in the league once upon a time. Before you became the weary, hollow, spent husk that you are now.

    At some point, on Sunday afternoon, you need to eat something.  Maybe you ate breakfast Sunday morning.  Though probably not since all of you spend your Saturday night drinking to forget and swapping venereal diseases with each other.  So, of course, you are running late.  You get to you game 30 second before it starts, wearing your shoes on the wrong feet and your shirt inside out.  And THEN you go to a bar and drink for four hours.  If you don't eat, guess what?  You're gonna have a bad time.  By 6 pm, you're going to be ass up on a park bench and if you're lucky, no one has pulled your underwear to the side.  If you're walking bowlegged on Monday morning, it's because you didn't eat something. 

    Not only is kickball supposed to be fun, but it actually can be.  There were close games on Sunday.  There were blowouts.  And I hardly saw or heard any contentiousness.  In general, people seemed positive , encouraging and friendly.  Exactly as it should (IMAGINE THAT!).  It is kickball.  Eight year old's play it, and often times with more decorum than we do.  Are you great a kickball?  Who gives a shit?  Are you terrible at kickball?  Who gives a shit?  Are you pleasant, agreeable and fun?  EVERYONE GIVES A SHIT.  Not being an asshole is tremendously underrated.  You aren't going to erase the memory of that time in high school when you had the chance to win the game and your pants fell down and you tripped and fell and you humiliated yourself and you had to move to another state and change your name BY winning a kickball game.  Gatorade and Nike are not coming around the fields to check out your sweet skills and offer you a sponsorship deal so that they can put you in a commercial where they make you wear a snorkel on your head and run on a treadmill until you sweat unnatural colors.  There are no scouts sitting in the bleacher with binoculars, and stop watches, cramming dip in to their face and talking about "five tool players"  and whether or not you can hit an "Uncle Charlie."  And if you're going to be one of those people that's going to ruin the generally feeling of comradeship that we've been able to experience thus far this season, don't worry about having yourself a sandwich on Sunday afternoons, because I have something you can eat.

  • September 9, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gifWeek 1 is in the books and the Power Rankings are here.  Get ready for something arbitrary!

    1) Crotch Party in Stopher’s Beard: A New Beginning (NR) - Happy birthday Orlando!

    2) Hobo Twerk Team (NR) - They came, they saw, they twerked.

    3) Kicker Bees (NR) - Cunningham and Theresa holding it down, and not being held down.

    4) Happy Lauer Kickball Team (NR) - Marty, he's classy.

    5) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!! (NR) - Survivor Flip Cup belongs to them.

    6) May the Juice! Be with You (NR) - They're handing out service to all those who dare step to them.

    7) Bad News Beers (NR) - Justin captains team, team comes to bar.

    8) The Pickle Factory (NR) - The cammo makes them harder to see.

    9) Team Lightning (NR) - First up to bong beers, not a bad start.

    10) #Booty (NR) - New life into the team means new participation!

    11) Jesus Christ Superstar (NR) - Good showing, just left a little earlier than most.

    12) Mustache Riders (NR) - A great first showing at team flip cup, well done.

    13) OMFGold (NR) - The hiding in the corner thing, we need you to do more.

    14) Grass Kickers VII: Kiss my Grasshole (NR) - Take it away my favorite sith lord!

  • September 4, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.gif Guess who's back?

    It's been a while since Leon shared his words with you and for that He is sorry. See once that Royal Baby got born, what's it's name, Leon was on duty 24/7 and by duty that means partying with the parents since they're not raising that kid.  They have what they call "servants" over in England, which are called something much less nice al over the rest of the world, but to each their own I guess.

    Anyway, your new season of kicking a ball, attempting to catch it and then pour beer into your mouth is almost upon us, and as you know, when you drink you are never alone for I, Leon is there every step of the way.  When you don't think you can sink that pong shot, it's Leon ensuring the bail flys true.  When you are flipping a cup and for some reason the damn thing won't turn over, well Leon gives it the nudge it needs.  That is except if you are just so hopelessly bad, Leon can only do so much.  When you're winking at that lady or gent across the table or bar, Leon makes them realize you are not such a bad idea to get down with, down in the sheets, or even in a pool of frigid ice water.  Leon makes the magic happen.

    So as you put on your shirts (and eventually take them off) remember you're not alone in this crazy mixed up world, no, Leon is there and he's driving your life straight to pleasure town.  See you Sunday when the fun really starts.

  • September 3, 2013 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Editors.jpgWelcome back to another fun filled Fall Season of HHKB!

    If you're reading this, then you can read and navigate the world wide web, unlike Ted Stevens who just thought everything was a garbage truck filled with tubes.  
    As we get ready to kick off the season this coming Sunday, I thought it only appropriate to begin this season of editor's columns with a list of things to do and not do to ensure your Sundays are a success.

    DO:  Show up on Sunday morning ready to play, hungover is fine, fall down drunk could be problematic.

    DON'T: Vomit on the reff because you drank too much the night before, that's just bad form.

    DO: Go to The Barking Dog post game for inventive drinking games, flip cup, morning drinks, and fun.

    DON'T: Go to another bar, seriously, stop being so rude your team needs you for flip cup, stop being so selfish.

    DO: Remember that day drunk will probably lead to late evening hungover, so have an electrolyte filled drink ready at home.

    DON'T: Pull a Rafi from the league and show your, well you know.  And if you don't, check it here

    DO: Wear your shirt, it's a nice shirt.

    DON'T: Show up topless...Well you can if you have league approval.

    That's what I've got for now, all good tips to get you through week 1, it's going to be great and a ton of fun, let's get to it!

    CAM

  • August 27, 2013 Fotoshop Friday Tuesday Style!

    Week15Cards.jpg

  • August 13, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Time to celebrate our final sporty champ of the Summer and now, past drinkers!Week14Cards.jpg

  • August 9, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Check out our Champs and not Champs in this week's cards!

    HankinDietlesTeamCard.jpgBoomTeamCard.jpg        

  • August 6, 2013 Maggie's Power Rankings

    Maggies-Logo.jpg Numbers can be fun!

    1) Swingers (4) - You Got Served spoiler action!

    2) The Humpires (6) - Chiller will put anything in his ears...

    3) Slider Under the Table (2) - Quarter, bottom of shot glass, served.

    4) We Go Down for Third Base (1) - They came and went quickly...

    5) 2Style 2Points (5) - Chipotle for them and the bathroom for Nikki

    6) Thunder Buddies (3) - Points for reffing!

    7)  Ball Whackers (7) - No ball whackers, I'm a little sad...

  • August 3, 2013 Congratulations to Quit Hankin' My Dietles!!!

    Your Summer 2013 Champs!!!

    HHKB Playoff Day Summer 2013 043.JPG

  • August 2, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Time to celebrate our two player who have won championships in all major sports!BOON3timecard.jpg  Jinee3timecard.jpg            

  • August 1, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif Last power rankings of the season, so sad....

    1) The Pickle Factory (6) - Another flip cup win and another great showing.

    2) Dhobo Unchained (1) - Hobos are tasty.

    3) Multiple Scoregasms (4) - You Got Served anyone?

    4) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (2) - Tim and Zubin tag teaming the Survivor countdown.

    5) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (3) - There's a new game, something with quarters and flipping and I want in!

    6) Tour de Juice (13) - Jason Yang!!!

    7) The Today Show with James Lauer (8) - They kind of disappear quick don't they!

    8) Kickballics (5) - PCP!!!!!

    13) Quit Hankin My Dietles (13) - It's a tie for alst...

    13) Can You Kick Like a Duck (13) - It's a tie for last...

    13) Hott Booty Allstars (7) - A big tie for last...

    13) Where Da Gold At? (13) - It's a tie for last...

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (13) - It's a tie for last...


  • July 30, 2013 Maggie's Power Rankings

    Maggies-Logo.jpg Welcome to Chiller's inspired Power Rankings!

    1) We Go Down for Third Base (5) - Suzanne kicking some ass is what I'm told happened.

    2) Slider Under the Table (2) - Chiller was upset Seamus won quarters so they're number 2, fair or not.

    3) Thunder Buddies (4) - Flanders shut the bar down, all by himself!

    4) Swingers (3) - Apparently Jayne may or may not have hurt herself again...

    5) 2Style 2Points (6) - Just here to play You Got Served people...

    6) The Humpires (1) - Just Chiller and Lakesia...

    7)  Ball Whackers (7) - Amazing ball whacker guy wants a word...

  • July 25, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif Power Rankings, ASSEMBLE!!!

    1) Dhobo Unchained (7) - Flip Cup Winning and pain in the breastssss.

    2) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (5) - Sharon is a great hugger.

    3) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (6) - People love pong, but they love love pong.

    4) Multiple Scoregasms (3) - Shots is all it takes y'all...SHOTS.

    5) Kickballics (4) - Have you seen the Theresa flip cup stance, it's elegant...

    6) The Pickle Factory (1) - Your Survivor is Damien!

    7) Hott Booty Allstars (8) - A great last night, let's see what happens next week....

    8) The Today Show with James Lauer (2) -  Annie L held it down while James was at a drinking function of another kind.

    9) Quit Hankin My Dietles (10) - Hey Cunningham's doc, that brace is not skin color, no siree.

    13) Can You Kick Like a Duck (9) - It's a tie for last...

    13) Tour de Juice (11) - It's a tie for last...

    13) Where Da Gold At? (12) - It's a tie for last...

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (13) - It's a tie for last...


  • July 24, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.gifRoyalBabyRoyalBabyRoyalBabyRoyalBabyRoyalBabyRoyalBabyRoyalBabyRoyalBaby.  

    Did you know that Princess Diana's son and Pippa Middleton's sister had a baby?  Have you heard?  Maybe you missed it.  Anyway, your old buddy Leon is not too good with children.  Well, I am excellent at making them.  But I am not too good with handling them.  They look kind of fragile and I am afraid I will break them.  And they can smell my fear.  Plus their need for like sustenance and nurturing cuts in to sexy time.  Surely there is a biological motivation for children to make shrill noises and crave attention.  But it surely must also be true that my desire to strangle them is also rooted in biology.  Somehow.  Not that children aren't useful.  If you ever hang out with one, women seem to find you more attractive or paternal or something.  Although it must be stated that puppies have a similar effect.  And while people get upset if you misplace the puppy, they get super pissed it you lose their kid.  I mean, relax.  Now you have an excuse to make another one and the free time to do it! And do it and do it and do it well.  So when are they going to name the baby?  Apparently the odds on favorite is George.  Which is no fun.  James is also in the mix, which I think is better.  You could call him Jimmy!  Personally, I think Prince Albert would be a fantastic name.  Whatever the they name the boy, I am sure he will grow up to be a fine young man who will go bald prematurely.  But he shouldn't fret.  It's not so much how your head looks, but how you use it.  Speaking of which, I would totally stick my Middleton in her Pippa.  

     

     

  • July 23, 2013 Maggie's Power Rankings

    Maggies-Logo.jpg It's the broken shot glass addition, now with more dexterity.

    1) The Humpires (3) - Easily the most engaged group of the night, and who doesn't love made up quarters games?

    2) Slider Under the Table (4) - Quarters is hard, but they got it done in the end.

    3) Swingers (2) - Just chillin' outside at the tikki bar.

    4) Thunder Buddies (7) - Stop hurting feelings Jesus!

    5) We Go Down for Third Base (1) - A nice showing, good job guys!

    6) 2Style 2Points (7) - They came and they quartered.

    7)  Ball Whackers (7) - No Whackers, but they've got a good reason.

  • July 19, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Baseball cards of sorts!

    Week12Cards.jpg

  • July 18, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif Data, it's here!

    1) The Pickle Factory (7) - Strong strong showing!

    2) The Today Show with James Lauer (6) -  It's a Flip Cup Sweep!

    3) Multiple Scoregasms (3) - Weiner's here!!!

    4) Kickballics (9) - The death of circus cup!

    5) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (2) - Thank god Tim is back, it's like a warm blanket.

    6) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (1) - Concussions don't stop this!

    7) Dhobo Unchained (4) - The Payne Train hurt his boobs, please massage them for him

    8) Hott Booty Allstars (5) - Big Pong and fancy clothes.

    9) Can You Kick Like a Duck (11) - There they were, in their spot, ready for Fall.

    10) Quit Hankin My Dietles (12) - Two games and the bar, no thanks.  But Cunningham showed up, so props to him!

    13) Tour de Juice (8) - Too busy catching the Time Trial...

    13) Where Da Gold At? (10) - I mean, yeah...

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (13) - Consistency is key!


  • July 17, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.gifGood day minions, and boy is it hot out there.  But never fear, your old buddy Leon is here.  Today I have for you a list of ways to stay cool.  And who doesn't love lists?  So without without further adieu, I bring you Just the Tip(s) for Beating the Heat, by Leon.

    - Buy yourself a succulent, delicious popsicle and slowly give it a tongue bath while watching someone you find incredibly attractive give a popsicle a tongue bath and let your imagination run wild.
    - Go skinny dipping!  Little know fact:  You don't have to be skinny to go skinny dipping.  Plus, you'll float way better if you're not skinny.  Not drowning can be exhausting.  If you're single and want to meet an interesting variety of new people, especially if you can't resist a man or woman in uniform, go skinny dipping in a public fountain.
    - Buy a slurpee.  Spike it with liquor. Consume.  Repeat?
    - Take a cold shower and get someone to keep you company.  
    - Have sex with a chilled cantaloupe or cucumber.  Do not have sex with a pineapple.
    - Crack open a Coors Light and wait for the Silver Bullet Love Train to show up (not to be confused with the Silver Bullet Love Personal Massager).  And it better show up.  Because if not, you're stuck drinking a Coors Light.  Which sucks.
    - Sweat can be a lubricant and cut down on friction.  Just like a slip 'n slide!  So find a partner to use as a human slip 'n slide.  If you believe the commercial, you'll be in for a long, wet ride. http://youtu.be/ho-UTvQmoDg
    - If you have to cook, cook in the nude.  Just not bacon.  
    - Get together a group of friends, dress in all white, and have a water balloon or squirt gun fight.  If you want to up the ante a little bit, require that everyone goes commando.  If you want to make enemies, put your batch of water balloons in the freezer the night before your battle.
    - Find an air conditioned dive bar.  Get loaded.  Hit on the patrons.  Pass out on cool floor.
    - Put your undergarments in the freezer.  Do things naked people do.  Put undergarments back on.
    And there you have it loyal minions.  Just the Tip(s) for Beating the Heat.  If you don't end up feeling cool, sexy and satiated by following this advice, there may be no saving you.  And if you do need some help with any of these, Leon knows a guy with two thumbs who would be willing to help you out.  In the mean time, stay cool.  And I cannot stress this enough: Do not fuck a pineapple.

     

     

  • July 16, 2013 Maggie's Power Rankings

    Maggies-Logo.jpg It's the broken shot glass addition, now with more dexterity.

    1) We Go Down for Third Base (4) - There were so many!  Plus they get points for Ernie and Norman showing up.

    2) Swingers (6) - Let's all take a breather while T-Payne collects himself...

    3) The Humpires (3) - Swept quarters, plus points for Fancy Jason.

    4) Slider Under the Table (2) - There were two, neither dressed like the other.

    7) 2Style 2Points (5) - Alex got muddy feet, and well that just ruined his night.

    7) Thunder Buddies (1) - And back to worst from first...boo.

    7)  Ball Whackers (7) - There was blue at the bar, just not this blue.

  • July 13, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Master Baker Themed, who's hungry?!

    read more...

  • July 11, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif If it's Thursday, it's arbitrary ranking time.

    1) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (3) - Thomas Wade has a beard now too!

    2) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (7) - Norman on the 1 and 2s!

    3) Multiple Scoregasms (6) - Bake off Winners people!

    4) Dhobo Unchained (5) - Sometimes Hobos hide in corners

    5) Hott Booty Allstars (10) - Chip comes through with getting his people to the bar, and yes he can make them drink.  Unlike horses.

    6) The Today Show with James Lauer (8) -  Hey, Von Hayes is back!

    7) The Pickle Factory (1) - They won another FC championship, well done.

    8) Tour de Juice (12) - Seamus is back, just don't take his picture.

    9) Kickballics (1) - Hunter got burnt, it's the begining of the end.

    10) Where Da Gold At? (9) - Thanks for judging Alex!

    11) Can You Kick Like a Duck (11) - Someone's getting upset!

    12) Quit Hankin My Dietles (13) - It's all Cunningham at this point.

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (4) - Nobody came!


  • July 9, 2013 Maggie's Power Rankings

    Maggies-Logo.jpg If it's Tuesday it's power ranking time!

    1) Thunder Buddies (7) - From worst to first, how about that?!

    2) Slider Under the Table (2) - This team is good at Quarters, apparently.

    3) The Humpires (6) - They showed up, en masse, holy sh*t!

    4) We Go Down for Third Base (4) - Still digging the outside, it's so nice out!

    5) 2Style 2Points (5) - Well, consistency is king they say.

    6) Swingers (1) - The cover of the Morning After will have to do.

    7)  Ball Whackers (3) - I have no idea if this is right...

  • July 6, 2013 Maggie's Power Rankings

    Maggies-Logo.jpg If it's Tuesday it's power ranking time!

    1) Swingers (NR) - Birthday Marty!!!

    2) Slider Under the Table (NR) - Everyone is hurt!

    3) Ball Whackers (NR) - Good showing at You Got Served!

    4) We Go Down for Third Base (NR) - They love a good patio.

    5) 2Style 2Points (NR) - They came, they saw, they kicked some ass!

    6) The Humpires (NR) - Chiller can Survivor, but he needs some friends damn it!

    7) Thunder Buddies (NR) - Boo

     

  • July 2, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Leon.gif

    Good day minions.  And a Happy Fourth of July to you.  May you celebrate America's Independence, and the death of Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Marie Curie, and Steve McNair however you see fit.  Your old buddy Leon has always claimed that fireworks are a uniquely American in that are loud, flashy, and lack any semblance of anything substantive.  Anyway, I suspect many of you will celebrate with a BBQ/cookout.  And for those of you that swear that it should be called a cookout and not a BBQ, or vice versa? Shut up.  You are annoying all of us fun people with your dull semantical argument.  Please go away.  And there is no reason you shouldn't have fun at your cookout.  First of all, it is essentially socially-acceptable day drinking.  You can probably even do it around your relatives.  Just make sure you take it easy, at least to start.  If you start around 2 or so, you could be drinking for a steady 8 hours.  So don't be starting off with Jack & Cokes or Jager shots.  Find yourself a nice session beer or cool refreshing mixed drink that goes light on the alcohol content.  No Coors Light (sex in a canoe), High Life (the flat champagne of beers) or Beast Ice (I'd rather have a Budweiser Chelada).  But the booze is merely the appetized to the main course.  Which is meat.  Mmmmmm.  Say is with me: "Meat."  Everyone feels better with some meat inside of them, especially mine.  Leon knows what you like, baby.  Nothin' but meat on the bone.  If you know what I am saying.  But I sure as hell won't be leaving it alone.  Anyway, you just can't beat that warm, full feeling.  The glassy look in your eyes.  The desire to light up a cigarette.  It's post-carnal bliss.  Burgers, steak, bratwurst, pork chops, chicken, swordfish.  It's all good, baby, baby.  But you know Leon's favorite?  Kebab.  Variety is the spice of life, you know.  And the choice is yours.  I like something round and firm to start off with.  Like a cherry tomato or something.  And then line up a cut of fresh meat right next to it.  After that, maybe spice it up with some peppers or toss on some mushrooms for an earthier touch.  Then, my favorite part:  Skewer.  Skewer, skewer, skewer.  Skewer to your heart's content.  Run it up in there.  Do gently, do it roughly, just do it.  Toss'em on the grill for about 10 minutes and you should be ready to go down on your meat and vegetable popsicle.  Feel the warm juices on your tongue and don't worry if some of it dribbles down your chin.  It just shows that you're enjoying yourself.  And just because you are a grown-up now doesn't mean you can play with your food.  You know there are starving children in Africa, right?  So I hope you'll think twice before throwing that hot dog down the hallway.

  • June 28, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    More fun pics!  Back to 87 and a nice melange of players who've been with us for years.Week10Cards.jpg

  • June 27, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif If it's Thursday, it's arbitrary ranking time.

    1) The Pickle Factory (1) - We're still number 1!!!

    1) Kickballics (8) - Stephanie Anderson propels them to #1 as well!

    3) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (3) - Wonderful theme, have you seen RDOS2DOS?

    4) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (4) - Grasses get kicked.

    5) Dhobo Unchained (5) - Jayne is better than you with a broken hand then you.

    6) Multiple Scoregasms (7) - Good showing by the Scoregasms, including Justin!

    7) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (2) - Big Zooby needs to get on Twitter, do it!

    8) The Today Show with James Lauer (6) -  Another championship, domination people.

    9) Where Da Gold At? (13) - They're back!!! How wonderful.  We missed Alex's cup slamming.

    10) Hott Booty Allstars (9) - Lots of big pong, does that make it easier or harder, I don't know...

    11) Can You Kick Like a Duck (11) - Ladies kissing men whilst in mustache ain't pretty.

    12) Tour de Juice (12) - They were kind of hidden but there!

    13) Quit Hankin My Dietles (10) - Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt.  Thanks Clay Davis!


  • June 21, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's Friday so it's time for Fun with Fotoshop!

    Week9Cards.jpg

  • June 20, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif If it's Thursday, it's arbitrary ranking time.

    1) The Pickle Factory (3) - Top 2 in Survivor, a relative sea of green I tell you!

    2) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (4) - No special red cups, everyone has to be terrible together!

    3) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (6) - There was a Holloman, A HOLLOMAN!

    4) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (7) - More green, again, the green!

    5) Dhobo Unchained (1) - Oh Rashard, that was something else!

    6) The Today Show with James Lauer (8) -  Cut in front of Laura at your own risk!

    7) Multiple Scoregasms (5) - Chiller did not walk alone for once.

    8) Kickballics (2) - Brooklyn is the nicest Survivor reff.

    9) Hott Booty Allstars (9) - Some Booty there, definitely some Booty.

    10) Quit Hankin My Dietles (10) - Cunningham is cursed by the fates, who are apparently against him.

    11) Can You Kick Like a Duck (11) -A forfeit at Flip Cup, so sad.

    12) Tour de Juice (12) - Time to make a dog wear a shirt!

    13) Where Da Gold At? (13) - Take it away Jimmy and Bunk!


  • June 18, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Leon.gif Hello Followers, Minions and Stumble Uponers.

    It's your old buddy Leon.  I would like to thank you for praising me so hard last Saturday night. You all gave Leon that special feeling under his toga all night long.  Though I only wear the toga for you, some of you are a bit bashful when it comes to Leon's Leonness.  Which is quite magical.  Literally, it appears as if out of nowhere and you're intrigued but a bit freaked.

    Anyway, what's new in Leon's world?  Not much really, summer officially starts Friday and that means that it's about to get hot up in herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre.  Sun dresses and boat shoes will be the style that you see out.  That and sweat.  Good lord have you seen people at 2am on a Friday night in July.  You look like a cross betwee a wax statue and the melting faces from Raiders of the Lost Ark.  But I jest, that's the way Leon likes you, all sweaty and gross.  At the conclusion of a terrible 90s movie called "Groove" everyone is dancing and sweaty and it looks amazing!  But that's not real, it's more like Elaine dancing in the middle of Sahara desert without a can of water to save her.

    So remember when you're out this weekend, hydrate, bring facial wipes and if you and your friends do get into a sticky whicket, destroying your cell phone won't actually delete your texts, pics, calls or emails, it will just make you look like Derek Zoolander.

  • June 14, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    More fun with fake cards!  Print them out and trade em with your friends!

    Week8Cards.jpg

  • June 13, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif If it's Thursday, it's arbitrary ranking time.

    1) Dhobo Unchained (4) - Survivor and a late night Payne Train appearance.

    2) Kickballics (5) - Theresa was on the teeeveeeee, and circus cup.

    3) The Pickle Factory (3) - Just another good showing, period.

    4) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (1) - Thank you Norman for your Ipod.  The underground sound don't stop for hos.

    5) Multiple Scoregasms (7) - The middle finger is your friend.

    6) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (2) - Wade, Thomas Wade.  Don't call him Tom.

    7) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (12) - A good jump, and a flip cup win! 

    8) The Today Show with James Lauer (6) -  They're good at team flip cup, just really good.

    9) Hott Booty Allstars (9) - Lots of pink, though Tony did get a bit fancy!

    10) Quit Hankin My Dietles (10) - Cunningham chose pink as well.  I'm getting confused.

    11) Can You Kick Like a Duck (11) -4th place is their best yet!

    12) Tour de Juice (8) - Seamus may or may not have hurt his finger...don't pull it.

    13) Where Da Gold At? (13) - If you ain't first, you're last.

     

  • June 11, 2013 The Word from Leon

    Leon.gif Minions!  It's been a long while and for that I am apologetic for my absence, but to be honest with you, you knew I was there in ever sip of delicious Bud Light, in every cup you flipped, in every posterior you grinded upon at the bar or club.  When good things happen, and bad decisions are made, Leon is there.

    But Leon made promises to you his readers that he would appear in the written form, not merely in the physical sensation you experience.  So minions, with your midseason debauchery filled throw down coming up this coming Saturday I thought it best for me to give you some tips to ensure that the night is a rip roaring success and that you wake up declothed in a bed of your choosing and not some prison or dog kennel.

    1) Drink copious amounts, 2) Dance like you are dancing alone (not like Elaine), 3) Eat before hand and afterwords (the before should be healthy, the after should be as greeeazzy as possible), 4) Tip!  Don't be cheap, 5) Take a cab, do not throw up in that cab, 5) Praise me with every pelvic thrust you thrust, 

    I hope that helps, invariably it does.  So minions, this Saturday night go out and make some magic with your friends, future lovers and stalkers, exes and partners, for Leon will be watching and waiting to experience what you do, for we are all one.  I'm just a God.

  • June 7, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Just look at these happy people in baseball card form.

    Week7Cards.jpg

  • June 6, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif If it's Thursday, it's arbitrary ranking time.

    1) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (5) - They ran that joint, from flip cup to the end.

    2) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (8) - Albers Pong is the best pong.

    3) The Pickle Factory (3) - Matt.Has.A.Boner.

    4) Dhobo Unchained (2) - Look at Rashard...he loves it...

    5) Kickballics (9) - Two handed flip cup, yeah we've done that!

    6) The Today Show with James Lauer (6) -  Ankit is now a force to be reckoned with.

    7) Multiple Scoregasms (7) - Chiller has HUGE balls

     8) Tour de Juice (11) - Seamus was providing service!

    9) Hott Booty Allstars (10) -Chip is furry!

    10) Quit Hankin My Dietles (4) - Cunningham stayed late, it was glorious.

    11) Can You Kick Like a Duck (1) -This week was too tame in comparison to last week.

    12) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (13) - I saw a Grass Kicker, that much is certain.

    13) Where Da Gold At? (13) - We return your money and bag Alex, and nothing?!

     


  • May 31, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    How do you like that 1986 vibe?!

    Week6Cards.jpg

  • May 30, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gif Thursday lunch time = power rankings time!

    1) Can You Kick Like a Duck (6) -They took it to a whole new level this week. Sangria for all!

    2) Dhobo Unchained (5) - Hobos every which way you looked.

    3) The Pickle Factory (2) - They love America and certain pics on cell phones...sinners.

    4) Quit Hankin My Dietles (10) - A great showing, hopefully they keep it up.

    5) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (7) - It looked like laundry week up in the BD!

    6) The Today Show with James Lauer (4) -  Laura just wants to DANCE!

    7) Multiple Scoregasms (8) - Boon and Chiller holding it down!

    8) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (1) - As long as there's hockey, we'll always have Jeremy and Dan!

    9) Kickballics (3) - Charlie is NOT the Buffalo Bills...he's Scott Norwood.

    10) Hott Booty Allstars (11) - Malibu and Sprite is now the drink!

    11) Tour de Juice (13) - The Juice lose some points for having enough for flip cup, but passing.  How times have changed...

    13) Where Da Gold At? (9) - Nobody came, guess doubleheaders will do that to you.

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (13) Bueller?  Bueller?


  • May 24, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    We're going back to some individual cards, 'cause why not?Week5TeamCards.jpg

  • May 23, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gifIt's Thursdeeeeeeee which means arbitrary ranking of teams time!

    1) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (7) - I think the whole team showed up, all of em!

    2) The Pickle Factory (1) - Plainly stated, they like the drinking games.

    3) Kickballics (2) - Try the Bizz towel, it apparently has magical powers.

    4) The Today Show with James Lauer (6) -  Ankit certainly did work ont he Board.

    5) Dhobo Unchained (5) - Everyone looks like T-Payne!

    6) Can You Kick Like a Duck (10) -That was a good showing, best showing yet in fact!

    7) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (3) - LindsAy and LindsEy did quite well in Survivor.

    8) Multiple Scoregasms (9) - We'll always have Chiller!

    9) Where Da Gold At? (11) -With Alex, always be wary of flying cups.

    10) Quit Hankin My Dietles (13) - A better showing than last week and that's always a good sign.

    11) Hott Booty Allstars (12) - Forfeited flip cup in favor of 400 cup pong...boo.

    13) Tour de Juice (8) - Nothing, nathan, nada.

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (4) - Bueller?  Bueller?


  • May 17, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's a Friday so we play with Fotoshop!  We finish our champs and start celebrating those that got the other on field trophy...

    Week4TeamCards.jpg

  • May 16, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gifIt's Thursday which can only mean two things, a hangover and Power Rankings!

    1) The Pickle Factory (3) There were pickles, literally everywhere you turned!

    2) Kickballics (2) - Staying strong at 2!

    3) BOOOOOOOOOM.!!!!!!!! (9) -Lindsay really embraced that theme didn't she?

    4) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (10) - It's Bill C's birthday, buy him some dranks.

    5) Dhobo Unchained (1) - Hobos like putting stuffed animals in compromising positions.

    6) The Today Show with James Lauer (7) -  Grube needs remind you it's pronounced, "GrubAY."

    7) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (5) - Stopher's beard, it was there.

    8) Tour de Juice! (11) - Is Seamus the cooler?

    9) Multiple Scoregasms (8) - Boon and Chiller doing what I believe is called, "Work."

    10) Can You Kick Like a Duck (13) -There was some corner hiding, but they were there.

    11) Where Da Gold At? (4) - Parsons is easily freaked when you know his name and he has no idea who you are.

    12) Hott Booty Allstars (6) - They did the quick dip.

    13) Quit Hankin My Dietles (13) - It's just Cunningham, poor old Cunningham. Appropriate sound effect.

  • May 10, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's Friday so you know what that means...Week3TeamCards.jpg

  • May 9, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gifIt's Thursday after a rain out (seriously, it is) so we have Power Rankings.  Dig in!

    1) Dhobo Unchained (5) - Top 2 in Survivor and a frightening GareBear shot.

    2) Kickballics (12) - What a strong showing, but that ain't "dancing" Sally.

    3) The Pickle Factory (1) They do well at the bar, just plain simple.

    4) Where Da Gold At? (11) - Did you see Jonathan in his tie, yeah, he got fancy.

    5) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (7) - Marty wore his shirt, his shirt!

    6) Hott Booty Allstars (9) - Chip and some ladies, sounds about right for the Booty.

    7) The Today Show with James Lauer (4) -  Oh Ankit, you love stuff!

    8) Multiple Scoregasms (2) - DiCostanza!!!

    9) BOOOOOOOOOM.!!!!!!!! (8) -You can always count on Ravi, now someone make him dowload the parknow app.

    10) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (13) - Hooray, they do like free beer!

    11) Tour de Juice! (10) - Most were at home, not watching the Giro because NBC Sports can't be bothered to show it, even though they have the rights.

    13) Can You Kick Like a Duck (6) - Boo.

    13) Quit Hankin My Dietles (3) Boo.

  • May 3, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Fotoshop Friday, how wonderful is that?!Week2TeamCards.jpg

  • May 2, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gifIt's Thursday which means it's Power Rankings Time!!!  Let's get to it

    1) The Pickle Factory (1) Still in first, there were so many of them in those bright shirts!

    2) Multiple Scoregasms (9) - There were more of them last night than the entire Fall combined.

    3) Quit Hankin My Dietles (13) - A great showing, well done Cunningham et al.

    4) The Today Show with James Lauer (4) -  They won team Flip Cup so they're not moving.

    5) Dhobo Unchained (3) - It's the Hobos, you know they represent.

    6) Can You Kick Like a Duck (8) - Tampa 2!

    7) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (7) - No board for the beard.

    8) BOOOOOOOOOM.!!!!!!!! (5) -Time called a great Survivor and happy b-day to Norman!

    9) Hott Booty Allstars (6) - Chip and Stephen, props for maintaing your shirts.

    10) Tour de Juice! (2) Ken is still tall.

    11) Where Da Gold At? (13) - Justin cried on command, amazing and Alex won Survivor!

    12) Kickballics (11) - Dickson!

    13) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (10) - Not even free beer could bring them out. So sad...

  • April 26, 2013 Fotoshop Friday!

    Since we're back at it, we thought this well loved piece should come back.  Enjoy!

    RunzTeamCard.jpgGoldAtTeamCard.jpg  

  • April 25, 2013 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for BD Power Rankings Image.gifAfter some time off, now that Kickball has started, the power rankings have returned!  See how your team fared last night in this completely unscientific of polls!

    1) The Pickle Factory (NR) - Picking up right where they left off.  A great showing.

    2) Tour de Juice! (NR) - I think they were all there, and Ken ran Survivor, that can't be thanked enough.

    3) Dhobo Unchained (NR) - In news that will shock no one, Jayne won Survivor.

    4) The Today Show with James Lauer (NR) 2 in the top 5 of Survivor, and then just a really nice showing at the bar in general.  Just nice...

    5) BOOOOOOOOOM.!!!!!!!! (NR) -Lots of em in attendance, and guess what, they have dudes now!

    6) Hott Booty Allstars (NR) - A great showing by the Booty, let's keep it up all season.

    7) Stopher's Beard: An Unexpected Journey (NR) - Stopher, doing his duty on the board, that man needs a win!

    8) Can You Kick Like a Duck (NR) - Tony et al, in attendance and attending well.

    9) Multiple Scoregasms (NR) - This is just going to be Chiller again by himself I feel...

    10) Grass Kickers 6: Sit on my Base (NR) - We had both Jessicas and a Bill, that's really all you need.

    11) Kickballics (NR) - No pug means the Muellers at the bar.

    13) Where Da Gold At? (NR) - I'll let Darth handles this...

    13) Quit Hankin My Dietles (NR) - The price is wrong...

  • October 17, 2012 The Word from Leon

    Leon.gifAh the art of arguing. Really, it is the art of persuasion. Sure people argue all the time when neither of them have no hope of persuading the other. This is what is known as pointless. But there are those other times when a little cajoling is in order. A little nudge in a certain direction. A little poke, if you will. And if there was ever anyone who was a master-pokes man, a master coax-man, it is your old buddy Leon. I mean, I am a master debater of the first order. As Mr. Meth once said, I could sell an eskimo a fan. What's that you say? You don't want to go home with Leon? Really? . . . .Really? . . . I don't believe you. What about if I buy you another
    drink? What if I touch your arm just so? What if I use a cheesy line on you? What if I put my hand somewhere north of your knee? Oh, you may be giving a negative vibe. But I don't listen to the third base coach. I'm running straight through that stop sign. I'm the one whispering sweet nothings in your ear. It's not about me convincing you. It's about you convincing you. Because you know you want to. You've heard things about Leon. You want to find out if it's true.
    But you don't want to seem easy. I understand. And you're lucky because Leon likes you. He thinks your juice is worth the squeeze. But if you make me work too hard, if you make me wait, I may have to find another candidate with a ballot box to stuff. Surely you must remember the Fornicate in '08 campaign? Don't vote with your mind. Don't vote with your heart.

    Vote with your pants. Or you lack of pants. Because a vote for Leon is a vote for post-coital bliss.

  • October 17, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifThe Rankings are back and wow are they arbitrary!

    1) Plastered (6) – The Mueller Mencarinis are in charge and be sure to stay clear of Judy with your back turned!

    2) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!!! (7) – Sharon and Suzanne holding it down, coupled with a Lindsey board win takes them to 2. 

    3) Multiple Juicegasms (5) – Chiller and Weiner, tcob.

    4) Bottom of the Fifths (13) – Great showing all around, though they were left out a bit of slap cup, so they just slapped each other.

    5) Adventure Time with Stopher’s Beard (2) – Albers and Aryan, they’re back.

    6) Tyler Perry Presents: The Hobos (3) – Rashard needs some googles.

    7) James Lauer and his Seamen (4) – James and Pete stayed, James Iced himself.

    8) Jesus Christ Superstar (14) – Flanders chilling through the day.

    9) Gluckzilla and the Aging Villagers (1) – Not the usual numbers, but still a great showing.

    10) Orange Mocha Frapacino Grande (9) –Great showing in Survivor.

    11) Grass Kickers V: Sons of Pitches (8) – The Jessicas get the job done.

    12) Kiss My Booty (12) –Chip was there but damn that dude needs some teammate assistance.

    13) Team Lightning (10) – Eh…could have been better.

    14) Suffering from Whiskey Kick (11) – Nothing, Nathan, nada.

  • October 2, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gifPower rankings, now with more Gangnam Style!

    1) Gluckzilla and the Aging Villagers (3) – Straight up domination of the Barking Dog. 

    2) Adventure Time with Stopher’s Beard (6) – The beard needs not be feared.

    3) Tyler Perry Presents: The Hobos (5) – Flip Cup Finalists and winners

    4) James Lauer and his Seamen (11) – Lindsay is your master baker.

    5) Multiple Juicegasms (7) – Please do not take Seamus’ picture.

    6) Plastered (2) – The Mueller Mencarinis came, left and came back, right in time for celery.

    7) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!!! (12) – Ravi, well he’s in the house.

    8) Grass Kickers V: Sons of Pitches (1) – Another good showing, well done.

    9) Orange Mocha Frapacino Grande (10) –Jelly.

    10) Team Lightning (14) – Not that shabby!

    11) Suffering from Whiskey Kick (4) – We demand more of Tony’s parents.

    12) Kiss My Booty (9) –Rosanna, she was there, and that was that.

    14) Bottom of the Fifths (8) – no one came, nobody!

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (13) – The price is still wrong!

     

  • September 28, 2012 Fotoshop Friday: HHKBers in Time

    Look at where else we went?  Marty on his way to the Moon, the Moon I tell ya!

    MartyMoon.jpg

  • September 27, 2012 The Word from Leon

    Leon.gifI Am Leon's Medulla Oblongata . Minions, minions, minions.  As the dreamy Tyler Durden said, "You're not the car you drive.  You're not the contents of your wallet.  You're not your fucking khakis."  And you are certainly not your smart phone.  Do you not find yourself isolated enough as it is?  Your old buddy Leon craves interaction.  Craves the personal touch.  Facebook is not interaction. I am Leon's nipple.  I am sure you can look up some pictures on a dating website and decide who to meet.  That may be good enough for buying a DVD.  But I not only want to see, but also touch, smell, and maybe even sneak a little taste of what I'm thinking of bringing home with me.  And the ear phones all the time?  Seriously?  Do you think you might like to be an active participant in society instead of sitting on the sidelines.  I am Leon's broken heart.  Keep those earphones in and the bench is the only thing you'll be riding.  Do you need to listen to a song again that you've already heard a 100 times before?  If you take your earphones out, there is a good chance you will hear something you have never heard before.  And it might even lead you to meet someone you've never met before.  By all means use your phones.  Make figurative 'words with friends' literal ones.  And by all means, sext, sext, sext.  Talk about it, take pictures of it.   Just don't use it in lieu of using those things your were born with, your eyes, your ears, you sweater puppets, your trouser snakes.  It's Saturday night: Is your phone what you really want to be docking and or mounting?  No, of course not.  Remember, you're not switching positions to find the g-chat, and you don't want to be coming all over your partner's Facebook. I am Leon's raging boner.

  • September 24, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Barking Dog.gif It's week 3 and an early Redskins game at home caused some changes, in the good way.  Get a taste of how you did this week below.  As always, these rankings are based on an algorithm and data that was developped by someone.

    1) Grass Kickers V: Sons of Pitches (13)  Big jump to take the top spot, well done GKickers!

    2) Plastered (11) – Another big jump with the return of the Muellers!

    3) Gluckzilla and the Aging Villagers (6) – Good showing, can’t debate what we saw people. 

    4) Suffering from Whiskey Kick (9) – Nicely done, fake Glenn.

    5) Tyler Perry Presents: The Hobos (3) – 10 cup flip cup?  Sure, why not…

    6) Adventure Time with Stopher’s Beard (7) – They came and left together.  But when you dominate flip cup, I suppose you can do that.

    7) Multiple Juicegasms (2) – Chiller’s back!

    8) Bottom of the Fifths (1) – Kat, she does it all.

    9) Kiss My Booty (8) –Cunningham, now leading Survivor, what’s happening here?!

    10) Orange Mocha Frapacino Grande (5) –That’s a big win at Survivor for Alex and for the cups.

    11) James Lauer and his Seamen (4) – The lure of RG3 was too strong for this team…

    12) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!!! (12) – This seems to be trending down, quickly, trend back up.

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (14) – The price is wrong!

    14) Team Lightning (10) – So low, so sad…

     

  • September 21, 2012 Fotoshop Friday: HHKBers in Time

    In this space we will have a new feature for Fotoshop Friday, HHKBers in time.

    Up first, did you know the Board of Champions flew with Charles Lindbergh?

    LindseyLindbergh.jpg

  • September 17, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif Power rankings where you judge yourself based on the memory of someone else.  It's America!


    1) Bottom of the Fifths (6) – The amount of them was shocking.  Phil likes the Boh.

    2) Multiple Juicegasms (5) – Rum and Coke was a bad idea….

    3) Tyler Perry Presents: The Hobos (2) – No tevas here…

    4) James Lauer and his Seamen (3) – Laura will end you, at Survivor that is.

    5) Orange Mocha Frapacino Grande (7) –Texting was done, hopefully no sexting, that would be weird.

    6) Gluckzilla and the Aging Villagers (8) – Sarah, she has no use for you, but she will give you the finger, just so you’re aware.

    7) Adventure Time with Stopher’s Beard (1) – They came and left together.  But when you dominate flip cup, I suppose you can do that.

    8) Kiss My Booty (11) –WE ARE LOUD AND LIKE SHOUTING….CUNNINGHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    9) Suffering from Whiskey Kick (13) – The Tony and Hailwood show, it’s coming soon to the CW.

    10) Team Lightning (10) – Brian kept trying to leave, but he kept having to come back…weird.

    11) Plastered (12) – Ankit does not recognize his teammates, that is some work that needs to be done.

    12) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!!! (4) – Ravi, he was there.

    13) Grass Kickers V: Sons of Pitches (14)  Some flip cup was played and no one got seriously hurt.

    14) Jesus Christ Superstar (9) – Not good, there was no one.  Darth is back.

     

  • September 12, 2012 The Word from Leon

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgMinions, minions, minions.  How soon do we forget one of the commandments? No, not "Never get high on your own supply."  The one that says You shall have no other gods before me!  And what is this that I see?  Many of you worshiping a new god: Robert Griffin III.  Who some of you call RG3.  Which is moronic.  He has a perfectly good name for a god; Griffin.  Instead you insist on referring to him by a name that is reminiscent of a chess maneuver or a spot on the board in a game of Battleship.  Though I shouldn't be surprised at the name from a group of people who root for a team with a name that even the ancients would have considered less than culturally sensitive.  But, I digress, what could be more regal than a lion with wings?  Alright, a lion with wings, lasers and a sweet sound system.  But you'd agree that a lion with wings is pretty cool.  Toss on a helmet and pads, and you've really got something.  But even so, should he be worshiped before me?  I hardly think so.  Yes, he beat the Saints, but are saints really noted for their toughness?  Hardly.  They're more noted for their martyrdom.  And yes he hurdles . . . hurdles in single bounds.  But they're not very high, are they?  Though I am coming off as too much of a wet blanket.  I am hardly the type to argue for moderation amidst the throes of ecstasy.  Enjoy Cloud 9 while you're on it.  Or in this case, Cloud #10.  And don't worry, your old buddy Leon will be there to catch you if you fly too close to the sun.

  • September 10, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifPower rankings, it's the way you judge yourself and your teammates!

    1) Adventure Time with Stopher’s Beard (NR) – Total domination, they stayed and they all stayed together all afternoon long.

    2) Tyler Perry Presents: The Hobos (NR) – Winners at Flip Cup, good Survivor showing and they bonged like champions.

    3) James Lauer and his Seamen (NR) – Strong showing, as one would expect. Andrea does not like the act or ripping flowers for the sake of it.

    4) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!!! (NR) – Lindsey continues to dominate the Board and Suzanne killed it in the new sport of Chill Bonging.

    5) Multiple Juicegasms (NR) – Who wants to get in on this quarters action?

    6) Bottom of the Fifths (NR) – In shocking news, many had not bonged a beer, I was plum surprised!

    7) Orange Mocha Frapacino Grande (NR) –Tiny cup landing strip for everyone!

    8) Gluckzilla and the Aging Villagers (NR) – Adam plays pong in a way I’ve never seen and Adam S bonged with cool and nonchalance, the man exudes quiet patience.

    9) Jesus Christ Superstar (NR) – Can I gets some of that milk...?

    10) Team Lightning (NR) – Just a good showing, though they demand more Chiefs and Bills on tv.

    11) Kiss My Booty (NR) –Cunningham stepped up large.

    12) Plastered (NR) – Queen Judy is there, in glasses so she can see her teammates no showing.

    13) Suffering from Whiskey Kick (NR) – Not a showing that deserves this low, but it’s week 1.

    14) Grass Kickers V: Sons of Pitches (NR) No darth vader here, a good showing in week 1.

  • July 27, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifPower rankings you need, want and crave, they're below and they are spectacular!

    1) Hobo World Order 2 (4) – Best flip cupping by one team I’ve seen in a long time.

    2) Bottom of the Fifths (3) – They like to party…FACT!

    3) Ballz Deep (5)  Ankit, he attempted work on the board, but the board did work on him.

    4) Team Lightning (9)  They’re back baby!  And Brian wins Survivor, well done.

    5) #Juice (14) – The return of the Juice, recognize!!!

    6) Ludicrous Speed (2)  Pitchers of cider you say?  Well sign me up!

    7) The James Lauer Team (6) – Beef is not dead, that was just a rumor.

    8) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (1) – Jen took Annie out, or Annie took Jen out, either way it was BOOOOOOMicide.

    9) Scoregasms (8) – The Chiller walks alone.

    10) Where Da Gold At? (12) – One of these days that cup Alex smacks is going to crack him in the face and he’s going to lose an eye…just you watch.

    11) Ace of Base (15)  Let’s try and hit that second round in the last week.

    12) Big Bad Booty (7)  Tony requests you don’t call him Anthony.

    13) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (13)  Yellow, it’s the new black.

    14) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (10) – Cunningham notes he’s a shortstop.

    15) Kick in a Box (11) – Just Scott, all by himself…

    16) Grass Kickers (16)  Why mess with a good thing when it’s working?

  • July 25, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgMinions, minions, minions. You know what you need in you life? A little Leon. Not Lil' Leon. Well, you should want Lil' Leon in your life too. I just know you'll enjoy meeting him. And he's not that little. Just smaller than me. But bigger than most. It's like Gary Coleman in my pants. Anyway, I was talking about a little Leon Junior. Have you seen the men around lately? Mortals. All of them. That guy you're cohabitating with? Sure, his genes will ensure that your progeny can work the DVR like a champ. But Leon's seed will storm your ovaries like the Bastille once he's slipped his head in to your flesh guillotine. And through the miracle of life, you will lay an egg from which Leon Junior will spring forth. And this isn't just for the ladies. Fellas, do you and your boyfriend/husband want a kid? Find an attractive lady friend and Leon will knock her up for you. I know you guys have at least one. You're surrounded by them. And they're already complaining anyway. Leon will give them a baby bump to bitch about. And just think, it might be a May baby. So call it Maybe. You see, while Leon is immortal, his record collection is not. And there was an unfortunate lubricant fueled fire that consumed the better part of my stash. And my supply of Teddy Pendergrass is not going to replenish itself. So, for a nominal fee, Lil' Leon will be happy to take a dip in your River Styx. And just think of that little bundle of joy you'll get to experience? Some Lil' Leon! And I'm sure the baby will be nice too. Look, nobody's perfect. Other than me of course. So pick me for your donor. Leon's different strokes will be sure to move your world.

  • July 20, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's Friday, which can only mean one thing...fun with Fotoshop!

    HHKB4CardsWeek8.jpg

  • July 19, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifThe power rankings are in and they are accurate, or not since I was at a blerd (blood nerd) dinner last night...

    1) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (11) – Well maybe we should rename the game BoooooomCup after last night.

    2) Ludicrous Speed (1)  That’s Amblers to you…

    3) Bottom of the Fifths (3) – 2nd place and climbing…

    4) Hobo World Order 2 (2) – Good showing, goooooood….

    5) Ballz Deep (6)  Grube is changing his spelling to Grubay.

    6) The James Lauer Team (7) – Spider monkey?

    7) Big Bad Booty (9) Charles B, at your service.

    8) Scoregasms (4) – Smokes…

    9) Team Lightning (5) It strikes twice.

    10) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (15) – CC!

    11) Kick in a Box (12) – Sinners….

    12) Where Da Gold At? (8) – Pospicles for all!

    13) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (10)  Judgment day, not the same as Phillips Day

    14) #Juice (14) – Boo.

    15) Ace of Base (13)  Caption contest just took too much out of Glen.

    16) Grass Kickers (16)  Living down here I suppose.

  • July 16, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's back and now we're giving cards to inanimate objects, how meta is that?!

    HHKB4CardsWeek7.jpg

  • July 12, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif  We're back and more powerful than ever, well at least some of us are!


    1) Ludicrous Speed (7) – Holloman, he’s what’s for dinner.

    2) Hobo World Order 2 (3) – Jayne, she’s a survivor.

    3) Bottom of the Fifths (2) – So…how’s that table?

    4) Scoregasms (10) – Is Chiller’s finger the problem?

    5) Team Lightning (5) – Champs on the tables.

    6) Ballz Deep (1) – Table flipping?

    7) The James Lauer Team (4) – It’s spelled “IE” damn it!

    8) Where Da Gold At? (13) – So much anger…so much!

    9) Big Bad Booty (11) – Malibu and Diet, chef recommends!

    10) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (12) – Big winners on the field, well done!

    11) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (8) – Tim is Kermit?  Go?

    12) Kick in a Box (6) – I think they were all in MD gear, but I can’t be sure.

    13) Ace of Base (14) – The Flip Cup is coming soon, I can sense it.

    14) #Juice (15) – Too much pre kickball juice I have to imagine…

    15) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (9) – Eh…

    16) Grass Kickers (16) – Well, there’s consistency for you.

  • July 11, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgWhat's that you say?  Did I see the San Diego Independence Day fireworks display?  Of course I did.  It was all over the internet.  What about it?  You have a problem?  What does that have to do with fireworks?  The San Diego fireworks show isn't the only thing that lasts just 29 seconds?  OOOOHHH.  I think I see now.  Well, you've come to the right place, my friend.  I think your old buddy Leon has some sage words of wisdom for you.  Now, I can't say that I can directly speak to your problem for personal experience.  Of course, I am a god, and therefore my endurance is literally legendary.  But I am also a fellow aficionado of the flesh, as it were.  I can understand why you get all anxious and excited.  Lust is not an easy thirst to slake.  But keep your pants on.  In a manner of speaking.  Take your time.  Don't rush.  You and your partner will enjoy it more.  And keep in mind, they're probably experiencing the exact same libidinous roller coaster you are.  But in times like these, staying mentally focused and composed is not as easy as your sister.  So there are some other tricks you might want to try.  There's a decent chance you ought to be wrapping that rascal in the first place, so why not try one of those desensitizing prophylactics?  Just make sure it's not inside out.  Jason may have his golden fleece, but Leon has his golden lambskin love glove.  It's been dipped in the River Styx, so you know it's reliable.  And not only that, safe for those with latex allergies!  But I digress.  Also, try different positions.  For example, if you are standing in a cold shower while your partner watches HGTV, this is an excellent was to delay gratification.  And if that doesn't work, try to think of something mentally distracting.  Like naming the state capitals, or members of the 1992 Portland Trailblazers (Kevin Duckworth!).  And if that doesn't work, call out the big guns.  Think about Hillary Clinton's cankles or Rush Limbaugh's nipples.  That should do the trick no matter your political or sexual preferences.  And if nothing else works, just remember that if you really want to see the fireworks, you need to turn the lights off, and your tongue is for more than just talking.

  • June 29, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    Check it, we've now got face off cards!

    HHKB4CardsWeek6.jpg

  • June 28, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif AMERICA!!! Power rankings...


    1) Ballz Deep (4) – Do Work?

    2) Bottom of the Fifths (3) – Nice bandanas, it shows some spirit no?

    3) Hobo World Order 2 (1) – RICHARD!!!!!!

    4) The James Lauer Team (7) – James Lauer, blackberry owner.

    5) Team Lightning (9) – FINALLY!

    6) Kick in a Box (14) – That’s some good themeing there…

    7) Ludicrous Speed (2) – Beware the beard, it will own your soul!

    8) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (6) – Wine for EVERYONE!

    9) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (12) – Cammotastic.

    10) Scoregasms (10) – Dave is not a hostage, regardless of what the pic indicates.

    11) Big Bad Booty (8) – Tony, still excited.

    13) Where Da Gold At? (11) – Alex, he slaps cups.

    15) Ace of Base (15) – In the house, but passing on Flip Cup…so sad.

    12) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (5) – Runners score?  No…

    15) #Juice (13) – No juice for you.

    16) Grass Kickers (16) – Come on, give me something people!

  • June 27, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgMinions!  It's your old (not ole,  because that's not how Leon speaks) buddy Leon, and yes I realize that it's been a while since I've imparted wisdom upon you, but I have to be honest, after that mid season party you put on, even Leon needed a break.  You all outdid yourselves and if Leon would ever deign to acknowledge a human, he would, but I don't.  

    In the past few weeks, Leon has noticed a few more births here and there which led Leon to decide to open up to you about his children.  You see Leon has children, God-Human hybrids, you would recognize them if you saw them.  Humans who care to drink and love a lot, and also are typically very handsy, inebriated or not.  These children of mine are really your children.  How you say?  Well when you are all out there cavorting, throwing down booze and chicken tenders, that is when Leon is at his most fertile and exciteable.  So when you do finally go over the edge from reason to stippin' with that handsome gent or pretty lady (who the next morning may be neither) Leon is the one making your moves, not the awkward falling down ones, that's all you.  Leon is the one that whispers sweet nothings into the ears, the one who can deftly throw you or allow to be thrown over an ottoman, the one who thinks protection is a bad idea.  You see Leon coined the phrase "I can't feel it with that on" for both genders.  And 9 months after that holy union a little Leon emerges, screaming for all the world to see, most likely demanding a nice bottle of Mich Ultra, because that is all a baby Leon hybrid can handle after birth.

    Does Leon have god on god action, well my minions that is for another day, but what I can say is every time a firework goes off over a major international monument, a baby Leon gets his wings.

  • June 21, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gif So we had a hoe down, sans hoe down...

    1) Hobo World Order 2 (2) – DJ Beezy, all up in here.

    2) Ludicrous Speed (3) – Holloman top 8 in Survivor?  The world is turning my friends…

    3) Bottom of the Fifths (6) – Oranges for everyone!

    4) Ballz Deep (1) – A big ole team FC title and an awkward photo to boot, seems like a good night to me.

    5) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (14) – Points in team FC?  Points in team FC!

    6) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (9) – Consistent, as always.

    7) The James Lauer Team (8) – If Rob had been able to get that cup on top of that other cup they’d have gotten #1.

    8) Big Bad Booty (7) – Everyone got so fancy!

    9) Team Lightning (10) – Nice showing, a good strong start to the second half of the season.

    10) Scoregasms (4) – Chiller’s chest hair is just, wow…

    11) Where Da Gold At? (12) –A good showing but dropped lower for giving away free beer instead of just drinking it.

    15) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (5) - Hmmmm….

    15) #Juice (16) – No juice for you.

    15) Kick in a Box (11) – Not even a Glen sighting…

    15) Ace of Base (13) Yeah…not so much.

    16) Grass Kickers (15) – Normally it would be just the sad trombone or Vader, but this week it’s both for bailing on your own theme week.

  • June 15, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    We're back and better than ever!  We're introducing the concept of classic teams in this week's edition.

    HHKB4CardsWeek5.jpg

  • June 14, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifSports gear, shots and booze, good lord the booze. 

    Baking, Beer Pong and Barking Dog Power Rankings...it's on.

    1) Ballz Deep (2) - Take it away Sean Connery.

    2) Hobo World Order 2 (5) -A little injection of KCMO for the Hobos.

    3) Ludicrous Speed (9) Mozzy sticks for all!

    4) Scoregasms (1) - Chiller wins on the board and gets to use a Sharpie, what is the world coming to?!

    5) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (12)- Did someone call for a Dr.?

    6) Bottom of the Fifths (4) - They came, they saw, they flipped.

    7) Big Bad Booty (6) - That's some nice Vandy gear...

    8) The James Lauer Team (10) - Will someone please get Laura a beer?!

    9) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (8) - Fiesta Martine, your flip cup guru, is here.

    10) Team Lightning (14) - Hey look, Ashley's back, how about that?

    11) Kick in a Box (11) - Love the creamsicle Tampa gear...

    12) Where Da Gold At? (7) -One day Alex is going to knock someone's eye out with the cup slam, and when that happens, I hope to have the camera ready.

    13) Ace of Base (15)Kevin is holding it down!

    14) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (13) - There are literally Judges everywhere.

     15) Grass Kickers (16) - We demand more grass kickers!

    16) #Juice (3) - Seamus, all alone...

  • June 13, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgDo you remember the Soviet Union?  The hammer and the sickle?  Back when the hammer and sickle was more than just a sexual position (think wheelbarrow)?  In Russia, hammer nails you! Do you remember when they were America's adversary in the Cold War?  Of course you don't.  Because half of you are a mere 25 years old.  Little more than fetuses.  And for much of your lifetime, the Soviet Union was but a distant memory and Russia is little more than the place where caviar, vodka and mail order brides come from.  In Russia, party finds you!  But now, Russia is unstable again.  They're sending helicopters in to the Middle East and now Russians are protesting the fact that Vladamir Putin's shirt keeps falling off.  Mother Russia, she is restless.  And when Momma isn't happy, no one is happy.  So, Russia, why don't you sit down there on the couch.  I know you've been standing all day, and you must be tired.  Let me make you a drink.  How about a Moscow Mule?  As for Leon, well I was thinking of helping myself to some Tolstoy Tang.  And I'll make myself a drink as well.  Why don't you let me give you a back-rub, sweet Rodina.  Now, isn't that better?  Don't you feel less tense?  Now how about you bring those helicopters back home?  Come on now.  Do it for Leon.  And why don't you have a Democratic election, and select a President able to properly clothe himself.  You know you want to.  Leon knows what you like and if you do what I ask, I'll give it to you just how you want it.  Was that so hard? That, oh, well, yes, that is very hard.  What do I know about Russian women, you ask?  Well let me tell you, I'm so good, when Leon goes to Russia, prostitutes pay Leon.

  • June 11, 2012 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Editors.jpgHello friends, and readers, or just readers, or potentially even prison inmates who stumbled across this site by accident.  This week I'm going to delve into the Barking Dog Power Rankings and how they come to be, what decides a high ranking and what decides a low ranking and the dreaded fail button.

    Basically it comes down to what we saw and what we didn't see.  If we saw you at the bar, good, that's a nice start.  If we did not, well you're already in the running for some Darth Vader action. Following visual stimulation, we watch to see how you interact with other HHKBers.  Do you sit in a corner hiding?  That's bad.  Do you mingle, play games and potentially, even attempt to form a relationship?  That's good.  So we've got these criteria, then we go to the pictures.  Were you in any, even just peripherally or possibly fotobombing, shown here by Alex, a notorious and acomplished fotobomber.  Finally, the last way to influence the Power Rankings is just to complain about them, and where in the world you end up placed in them.  Complain enough that you're not high enough, you go higher.  It's that simple.  Now, take heed, if you complain too much you can end up straight at the bottom, mostly out of spite.  Because if I can't return a coat with a ridiculous horse crest out of spite, I'm getting my spite in somewhere.

    So, in conclusion, what have we learned.  Spite, complain, show up, darth vader and fail.

  • June 7, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifBaking, Beer Pong and Barking Dog Power Rankings...it's on.

    1) Scoregasms (2) - Smells like service...

    2) Ballz Deep (10) - Landing strip, a game for all ages.

    3) #Juice (6) - It's been a while since I've gotten to do this, "Juice, Juice, Juice, Juice!!!!"

    4) Bottom of the Fifths (5) - 8 cup Survivor you say?  Why not!

    5) Hobo World Order 2 (4) -FC Champs, how 'bout that?

    6) Big Bad Booty (16) - Now that's more like it.  Glad to have the Booty back at the bar.

    7) Where Da Gold At? (11) -Apparently this whole team is good at that baking thing, top 2 spots!

    8) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (3) - Congrats to Lindsey, first in Survivor!

    9) Ludicrous Speed (1) You can just call him Calbers.

    10) The James Lauer Team (7) - It's always fun with a little Lauer Power.

    11) Kick in a Box (14) - A nice full crowd, tip of the cap to you.

    12) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (13)- Another good showing.

    13) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (8) - Katie is a splendid reff!

    12) Team Lightning (12) - 3 bolts in attendance, and a good showing at survivor.

    15) Ace of Base (9)We're talking about practice, not a game, PRACTICE!

     16) Grass Kickers (15) - Take it away Darth Vader.

  • June 6, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgNo soda, no peace?  Go Tell it on the Mountain Dew? Fanta of the Opera?  Okay, that last one doesn't make any sense.  But I'm sure you've heard about the proposed soda ban in NYC aka The Big Apple Juice.  Speaking of which, why eliminate sodas altogether?  Are they worse for you than cigarettes?  Just tax the sodas and use those taxes to subsidize the prices of juices and other healthy drinks.  Because healthy is sexy.  This doesn't mean you can't have your high fructose corn syrup.  Leon would be happy to drizzle it all over you.  Can you drizzle high fructose corn syrup?  I have no idea.  But there's only one way to find out.  And, honestly, what is sexy about soda?  Has anyone ever popped the top off a two liter bottle of Fresca, poured it over their body and had their partner lick it off?  Well, maybe, in the 80's.  But those were different times, and anyone who tried it was probably coked out of their gourd.  And even if they did, they were all sticky.  And not a sort of satisfying, damp sticky.  Like a movie theater floor-sticky.  Gross.  And if you don't really like juice, just drink red wine.  It's pretty much just grape juice.  Do what I do.  Buy a bottle of grape juice.  Drink the grape juice.  Then, every morning, fill your empty bottle with red wine, and be on your merry way.  Your morning will be a breeze, and before you know it, it will be lunch time.  And if you're still craving that soda fix, you can always meet up with Leon during your lunch hour.  I'd be more than happy to give you 7-Up yours.

  • June 4, 2012 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Editors.jpgSo we took a week off, what of it?  Sometimes editors need to rest, and by rest I mean completely forget to post anything for you to read in this space.  What to talk about today?  Well normally we scrape and scrounge for an idea, throw darts a mule or just lean out of a fast moving automobile hoping for inspiration to literally smack us in the face.  Not today my friends and readers.

    Today we would like to note that Happy Hour Sports has a new fancy looking logo.  It'll be premiering here shortly, but what I can tell you is that it's nothing less than sensational.  Classy? You bet.  Forward thinking?  Without a doubt.  Powerful? Like a bull hopped up on hormones.  It's got it all, and the colors are really strong too, let's be honest, black and yellow-gold are a combination that can;t be beat.  When it gets posted we hope to hear from you, if you haven't been absorbed by its glory.

  • June 1, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's a Friday, which can only mean some fun with Fotoshop, dig it!

    HHKB4CardsWeek4.jpg

  • May 31, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifIt's power ranking time again, things got a little shaken at the top, how did you do?

    1) Ludicrous Speed (9) The Return of the Orlando.

    2) Scoregasms (5) - Landing Strip and the NBA Playoffs, what a combo.

    3) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (3) - Ravi will tell you if you're drunk, just grab his tube.

    4) Hobo World Order 2 (6) -Happy birthday Garrrrry.

    5) Bottom of the Fifths (2) - Still strong for the Fifths.

    6) #Juice (12) - Mardi Gras, an awesome theme from an awesome group of people.

    7) The James Lauer Team (1) -Laura is your sole survivor, long live Laura and fun!

    8) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (14) - Good grouping, very good grouping.

    9) Ace of Base (13)First win in Flip Cup well deserved.

     10) Ballz Deep (4) - Another team win in FC, looks like a continuation of the summer.

    11) Where Da Gold At? (7) -It seems cup slamming has caught on with the whole team...

    12) Team Lightning (15) - Landing Strip anyone?

    13) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (16)- Cunnningham, he's where it's at.

    14) Kick in a Box (8) - Tony H, he's there and what have you.

    15) Grass Kickers (11) - There, in smaller numbers, but there.

    16) Big Bad Booty (10) - Zero, you know the drill.

  • May 30, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgMinions, I come to you with some terrifying news.  There is a new drug on the market that will turn you in to a zombie.  For real.  I'm sure you're heard by now, that a man in Miami was hopped up on goofballs and feeding on another man's face.  Now, unless this is some new version of the South Beach diet that I've never heard of, I can't help but believe that drugs were a factor.  Now, your old buddy Leon has no problem eating a choice piece of anatomy now and then.  Maybe a nibble on the earlobe, or some other sort of more risque buffet.  But a face?  That's not cool man.  I mean, the guys seemed like they were headed in the right direction. They were both naked.  But you're supposed to hug, or cuddle or get all oiled up and wrestle around or something.  If you eat another man's face, what are you going to rollover to when you wake up in the morning?  It's not going to be pretty.  Probably even less pretty than the usual people you bring home.  Have you no human grace, to leave eyes without a face? I know zombies are all the rage these days.  But they are not your friend.  And they are not sexy.  Like vampires.  Who are very sexy.  Except for a few of them, who are all angsty about sex and are just playing out some sort of metaphor about virginity or something.  Virginity and werewolves.  That's what it should be called.  Anyway, if you people are going to keep sleeping with zombies, they are just going to keep eating your face.  They are going to take the zombie drug and probably buy you a nice dinner first, give you too much wine, tell you you're pretty, and then eat your face. That is what zombies do.  Don't hate. So, if you value your face, be more selective about your next partner.  Choose, your old buddy Leon, for example.  I won't eat your face, but I may just screw your brains out.  Mmmm, brains.

  • May 25, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!!!

    Going really old school in some of these...enjoy!

    HHKB4CardsWeek3.jpg

  • May 24, 2012 The Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifHey hey!  We've got a slight, slight shakeup on top!  Dig that!


    HHKB, Week 5, May 23, 2012

    1) The James Lauer Team (3) -We've got a new top dog at the Barking Dog, frozen drinks for all!

    2) Bottom of the Fifths (1) Move down a spot, but they're still running this shizzzz.

    3) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (5) - Good strong, strong showing, and Lindsey is your new top Survivor.

    4) Ballz Deep (6) - Justin, and Justin from the future, plus Ankit, and Theresa winning Survivor, strong night.

    5) Scoregasms (8) - Keeping it ever so real...the realest in fact.

    6) Hobo World Order 2 (7) -Hobos, Hobos everywhere. 

    7) Where Da Gold At? (4) A great showing, and seemed to be having quite the good time.

    8) Kick in a Box (12) - Super duper!

    9) Ludicrous Speed (2) Someone get Stopher a Stoke, STAT.

    10) Big Bad Booty (15) - Shaun joins Chip, we've increased participation by 100%, how about that?!

    11) Grass Kickers (9) This is where things get sketchy...

    12) #Juice (10) Darts on a wall.

    13) Ace of Base (11)- Pin the tail on something...

    14) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (14) Let's just you know...

    15) Team Lightning (16) - Eh....

    16) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (13)- New fun sound to show fail...bar wise at least.

  • May 21, 2012 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Editors.jpg Welcome back readers, to the weekly (according to posting date) column from the editros of The Morning After, the best publication that features a back cover in the entire world that doesn't appear upside down in a marketing attempt to get you to buy two copies.  I'm looking at you Men's and Women's Health, we're all wise to your gambit.  But it won't work, at least not for this editor.  Now, if it does work, can you give me a shout, I'm all about getting tricky with a free online publication read by 7 people, usually drunk or bored.

    Speaking of drunk and bored, though I don't think it's possible to be both drunk and bored simultaneously.  'Cause if you're drunk, and start to feel bored, if there is anything around you (inanimate or animate) you'll slur your displeasure in its direction.  Screaming about how bored you are really shows you that you're just angry and potentially anxious.  And there's nothing worse than a potentially anxious and edgy drunk.  They get shouty, belligerent, and usually destructive, knocking that inanimate or animate object out of there way.

    So, drunk or bored reader please don't do anything rash, read The Morning After, these words and then calm yourself either by counting to 10, slamming 5 shots of Jame-O, or blasting some Van Halen, I hear that helps.

  • May 18, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    It's back again, and damn if we just aren't getting more and more creative...

    HHKB4CardsWeek2.jpg

  • May 17, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifIt's time for the Barking Dog Power Rankings, let's do it!

    HHKB, Week 4, May 16, 2012

    1) Bottom of the Fifths (1) All I can say is Buffalo!

    2) Ludicrous Speed (8) - Interesting news, if they win the whole thing, Drew and Orlando shave their heads, let's work to make this happen.

    3) The James Lauer Team (5) They are, how would you say, good at the flip cup.

    4) Where Da Gold At? (2) They continue to stay in the top 5, not bad work by the tie dyed team.

    5) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (4) - Bud Mike is your sole survivor, and how about this pants?!

    6) Ballz Deep (3) - As usual, a good crowd, can't get upset about that.

    7) Hobo World Order 2 (7) - Consistency is key.

    8) Scoregasms (10) - Morgan to the finals, nicely done, though she did take out her teammate to get there...

    9) Grass Kickers (11) - A very solid showing, looks like we're getting on track here.

    10) #Juice (9) Strong, strongest of the season to date in fact.

    11) Ace of Base (12)- Good turnout, winning I assume helps! 

    12) Kick in a Box (9) A good turnout though late, and my bracket got wonky.

    13) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (15)- Nice showing, a good one to be sure. 

    14) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (16) - A nice jump from last, keep moving up Joes!

    15) Big Bad Booty (15) - I have a feeling this will be the same story every week, so good job Chip!

    16) Team Lightning (15) - Click here for a new sound of despair.



  • May 16, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgHello Minions, and Good Afternoon to you!  It's your old buddy, benevolent God and occasional Super Bowl MVP, Leon.  Since last I spoke with you, the heavans have opened up and really put a cramp in your style, sending you fleeing to the bar for beers without having properly sweated all over each other on the kickball fields.  For this Leon would apologize were I able to make mistakes, but as a God, I can't.  So what I will do is deflect blame to Tlaloc an Aztec buddy who has been crashing here in Leon's domicile while he rids his home of his in laws.  See even Gods have trouble with parents in law.  But that's not what I'm here for today. No, I come to speak to the travesty that happened at Nationals Park this past Monday night.  

    You see Monday night, a true believer was taken out by a ruthless, and blood thirsty Padre.  I speak of course of Sandy LEON, who plays catcher for the Washington Nationals who was assaulted by some person named Chase, a man whose name is a verb has no business in the game of baseball (but does in Football, Chase Daniel, you will always have a place at Mt. Beer OhLympus).  Human Leon was just doing his job and this interloper viciously attacked his ankle and then may have punched a young child.  Fear not though, this Chase person has been dealt with, all I can say is that there are boils and unpleasant odors coming from this Chase character that will ensure he spends the next 55 new year's eves sitting at home watching reruns of Mr. Belvedere.  But what of other Leon you ask?  Well he will be rehabbing here with me.  PT will include laps in the champagne pool and ankle strengthening through jumping flip cup, a game you humans are not quite ready for.  With all this human Leon will be back to catching behind homeplate before you know it.  As of now he's on the 15 day DL, but after spending that much time with Leon, he will certainly need a break.

    Better not expect to see him for two weeks...

  • May 15, 2012 Special Tuesday Entry: Deep Thoughts by Han Dolloman

    Every Tuesday, we'll have some different stuff in the space, this week we kick off with Deep Thoughts by Han Dolloman, our resident HHS deeeep thinker and cider lover.

    Han Dolloman.jpgMy belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the fuck’s really going on down there? Who is the real hero?

    I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

    I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Look out, he's fuzzy, let's get out of here.

    My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

    I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

  • May 14, 2012 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Editors.jpgAnother week, another column from your editors.  It's been a wet and wild spring to this point, and as far as I can tell that sucks for all of us.  Sure, there's the reader out there that's a farmer and he and his family need the rain to grow their crops, but for the other 99% it's not so great.  And this got me thinking, has rain or being wet ever been a good thing for anyone in this area and I could only think of one time.

    And that was the time I was on fire.  I'd been in a heated game of basketball and just started throwing up shots, and those shots started to fall, which was unusual in itself as I am not so good at the basketball.  Once I had hit three in a row, I was on fire.  I couldn't miss.  Half court shots you say, no big deal.  A shot from a moving automobile or elephant, please, that was gonna drop no matter what I did.  But then things got weird...my hands literally caught fire, as did my body and most upsettingly, my eye brows.  I need my eye brows to convey both shock and surprise, anger and boredom.  I was a blank canvas and let me tell you this terrified me.  

    Thankfully it started raining, and I was doused retaining my dignity and eye brows. Can you imagine if I had had to draw new eye brows to convey how I was feeling?  So on that day in the mid 90s, rain was a good thing, but every time since, it's been a series of slaps in the face, and not the good ones.

    At the end of the day, we all want to get a little soggy, but there are limits.

  • May 11, 2012 Fotoshop Friday!

    In this space, every Friday, we'll be having some fun with the photos we take and the magic of photoshop and Marty.

    So, as Sam Jackson said, "Hold on to your Butts."

    4 Cards in 1 May 10 2012.jpg

  • May 10, 2012 The Barking Dog Power Rankings

    Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifIt's time for the Barking Dog Power Rankings, let's do it!

    HHKB, Week 3, May 9, 2012

    1) Bottom of the Fifths (1) Another week on top for the Fifths, anyone want to try and knock them off?

    2) Where Da Gold At? (10) - A big showing, I know they clearly dig hockey.

    3) Ballz Deep (7) - A nice showing, clearly, they're doing work.

    4) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (3)They came out large, as is their deal.  Nice shouting Tim!

    5) The James Lauer Team (8) Holy 80s Batman!

    6) #Juice (16) - The Juice, like the Terminator is back.

    7) Hobo World Order 2 (6) The Lysts show their spirit.

    8) Ludicrous Speed (4) - They have "The Beard."

    9) Kick in a Box (14) Big showing for Tony and co.

    10) Scoregasms (2) - They have "The Mustache."

    11) Grass Kickers (11) - They're here, to kick grass.

    12) Ace of Base (12) - Dressed so fancily...

    13) Big Bad Booty (15) - It's Chip, solo, and that, that is not ok Booty, give the man a hand!

    14) Team Lightning (9) They came to the field in one car, just one, all 20 of em.

    15) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (13) Cunningham drops knowledge on lightning, take a knee and listen.

    16) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (5) - Click here to see how I feel.

  • May 9, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpgMinions, it's your old buddy and deity Leon, none other.  I come at you for my first full fledged column on the world wide web, which may or not be a series of tubes according to some dead guy from Alaska.

    Anyway, it's about time.  Leon is world wide, and as such I should more easily appear to you then in a once weekly published ezine.  That's right, Leon is up on the techno terms you kids are using. Speaking of technology, Leon was recently on Deitybook (much like your facebook but having pictures of your kid or pet is illegal) and was caught out by something called chatroullete when some flaming deity's nether regions were exposed.  Leon was ill-prepared for this, really more upset than illprepared.  Flashing flaming junk to unsuspecting friends is so Leon and the fact that I did not think about it first upset me so that I threw my bottle of bud light platinum at cerebus who fought his three faces over that tasty brew.  So what did Leon do?  Double up on the chatroullete and went crazy not only exposing other dieties to my body, but mortals as well, showing up on toast, windows, and in books.  That one time, you felt that flutter, that time you felt the hairs on the back of your neck raise, that was Leon exposing himself via baked good.

    Leon's happy to be back and ready to drop weekly thoughts and rules to live by, now go out there and do some good and be sure to butter my bread.

  • May 7, 2012 The Editors Column

    Thumbnail image for Editors.jpgSo um yeah we are the editors.  Actually it’s just me one of the editors, I’m not going to tell you which one I just wanted to stop referring to myself as some collective. It makes all the other voices in my head a little jealous. Anyway it’s been a while since we… um, I spoke with you. Since last we (me and you, the reader) spoke the Caps rocked the red and choked every year in the playoffs. The Wizards had a team that could barely win 20 wins a game and the Redskins had finally solved the Beck/Grossman QB controversy.  Since that time the Caps are still in the playoffs, the wizards have won 20 games and the Redskins have started up a potentially whole new quarterback controversy! Seriously so much has changed.

    So what’s new around here? Well we are on the internet and surprisingly no penis has been shoved in my face yet. I guess you can’t trust the reputation some places get. But as you probably know since you already it did it to be reading this sentence right now, you need to use that magical series of interconnected tubes to get here and read this drivel. It’s so very 1997 of us! Our columns used to share space with write-ups about how many runs batted in and how many cups got flipped and made-up power rankings. Now we share space with the WORLD. You could be reading this column as a cat is playing the keyboard in the window next to you. Or you could be looking at kittens getting spun around by ceiling fans, or the ones where the kittens all climb up the curtains at the same time. I can’t think of one better reason to join the web than to up the amount of kitten links and sightings we can share with you.  And as long as I’m editor and advisor in this league that’s what you will be getting from me morning day, and night. Wall to wall pussy! (Man I really had to work for that pun).

    So what else can expect? Well the same level on non-content content you always got from us. Leon’s back and more ethereal than ever. Being transmitted to the world through electricity and fancy dancy computer code can do that to a GOD. Power rankings that are the true measure of how popular your team and by extension you as a person are can also be found here every week as well. Plus we have a few other surprises up our collective sleeves for you too! So welcome to the new Director’s cut of Happy Hour Sports.

  • May 3, 2012 Barking Dog Power Rankings for HHKB and HHSB

    Thumbnail image for Barking Dog.gifIn this space you will find where you stand in the Power Rankings and why, a purely unscientific poll based on what one person sees at the Barking Dog while you cavort around.  Let's hit it:

    HHKB, Week 2, May 2, 2012

    1) Bottom of the Fifths (NR) - The newest team to the league continues to have the best showing and so far strongest hit at the BD.

    2) Scoregasms (NR) - For some reason they always end up in bathroom photos, not sure why, but they were landing stripping the night away.   

    3) B.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.M.!!!!!!!!!! (NR)- Every year they get brighter and brighter, they shine at the bar more than anywhere else though.

    4) Ludicrous Speed (NR) - Strong, consistent, not yet at #1, not the now at least.

    5) G.I. Kickballin' Joes (NR) - I think the Caps game had to do with their late stay, but top 5 ain't bad.

    6) Hobo World Order 2 (NR) - If you want to win Survivor every week, you have to be a Hobo, or so the trend is going.

    7) Ballz Deep (NR) - To say they did work would be an understatement.

    8) The James Lauer Team (NR) - While they hide in their corner, they are a strong presence.  Once the playoff ends I demand more participation!

    9) Team Lightning (NR) - Good strong showing, can't complain about that.

    10) Where Da Gold At? (NR) - Like the JL team, they hang and watch hockey, who knew we all loved hockey so much?

    11) Grass Kickers (NR) - Good showing for the depleted team, and they have more fun than any of you, so that's making them happy weekly.

    12) Ace of Base (NR) - They're new, but showing well, more time and they will get top 8 I know it!

    13) Quit Hankin' My Dietles (NR) - Best name in the league, best shirts in the league, too cammo to see perhaps.

    14) Kick in a Box (NR) - They didn't show big, but those that did got down on some action, can't hate there.

    15) Big Bad Booty (NR) - The playmaker was there, but that was about it, we demand more from these vets!

    16) #Juice (NR) - This is so surprising, I can't even....

  • May 2, 2012 The Word from Leon, God of Happy Hour Sports

    Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Leon.jpg Hello Minions it's your old buddy Leon and I've got new space here on the HHS website, in fact it's about time I was given the respect I deserve.  Stuck in the pages of The Morning After, that's no place for Leon, the all knowing, all seeing, all drinking, all flipping, all bouncing, and if you're lucky, the all touching!

    Come check out this space every Wednesday to experience that is my glory, and maybe learn something.  I'll chat with you tomorrow followers, be ready for your life to change exponentially, so sayeth LEON!